Masculinity as Confident Competence

Masculinity as Confident Competence

Author: The Art of Manliness December 2, 2025 Duration: 49:59

There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know-how. The ability to get stuff done. The capacity to move through the world with purpose and skill.

As someone who's lived several lives in one, Elliot Ackerman certainly embodies that ethos. He's a decorated Marine, a former CIA paramilitary officer, a National Book Award-nominated novelist, and now the writer of A Man Should Know, a column at The Free Press that explores the small but significant skills that shape a man’s life.

Today on the show, Elliot and I talk about why young men are struggling, how intention, discipline, and competence can change the way a man carries himself, and a few of the specific skills a man should know — from how to wear a watch to how to give a eulogy.

Resources Related to the Podcast


Connect With Elliot Ackerman


See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.


You'll find conversations here that cut through the noise, focusing on what it means to live a substantive life. The Art of Manliness features in-depth discussions with historians, authors, coaches, and philosophers, exploring timeless ideas and practical skills. Each episode is built on the belief that character and competence are cultivated through deliberate practice and reflection. Rather than offering quick fixes, this podcast delves into the principles behind everything from building physical resilience and fostering deeper friendships to navigating ethical dilemmas and managing time with purpose. The conversations are grounded, often pulling lessons from history, classic literature, and the firsthand experiences of remarkable individuals. It’s a resource for anyone interested in the ongoing project of self-improvement and understanding their role in society and culture. By focusing on actionable wisdom over abstract theory, the show provides a steady stream of thoughtful content that challenges listeners to reconsider their daily habits and long-term goals. Tune in for a consistently engaging blend of the philosophical and the intensely practical, all aimed at helping you develop a more intentional and effective approach to your life's work and relationships.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

The Art of Manliness
Podcast Episodes
How to Have the Manners and Charm of a Proper English Gentleman [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:55
The British just seem like a classier bunch. Part of it is that winning accent. But it's also because English culture has long been steeped in the tradition of learning and practicing etiquette.Here to share some of the…
Become a Master of Uncertainty [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:15
Uncertainty is a constant of human existence. How will market conditions affect your new business venture? What will be the results of the medical test you just took? Will a new relationship work out?For most of us, situ…
Building Tribe — How to Create and Sustain Communities of Men [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:01
Community is one of life's most valuable but increasingly scarce resources. While we hear about a supposed epidemic of male loneliness, many men still resist joining groups or struggle to maintain involvement after initi…
20 Secrets of Adulthood [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:34
Figuring out the pitfalls and best practices of adulthood can be tricky. It's helpful to have some pearls of wisdom to guide you along the way.My guest today has spent decades collecting these kinds of helpful truths and…
The Power of NEAT — Move a Little to Lose a Lot [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:17
Do you have a goal to lose weight? If so, you're probably thinking about how you need to exercise more. And that can certainly help. But what about the 23 hours a day you're not at the gym? How much you move during those…
Beyond Resilience — How to Become Shatterproof [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:58
Resilience is often touted as the end all, be all of coping with life's challenges and setbacks. But my guest knows from her studies, executive coaching, and her own life that sometimes resilience just isn't enough. You…