EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes

EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes

Author: Robyn Gobbel December 2, 2025 Duration: 37:33
Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely. Let’s unpack what’s really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You’ll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay. In this episode...

Robyn Gobbel, an internationally recognized expert in children's mental health, hosts The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}. This podcast serves as a compassionate guide for parents raising children whose nervous systems are vulnerable due to past trauma, toxic stress, neuroimmune disorders, or sensory processing differences. Each episode is dedicated to decoding the confusing and often overwhelming behaviors that can leave caregivers feeling isolated and unsure. Robyn translates complex neuroscience and attachment theory into practical, relatable insights, moving beyond simple behavioral tips to address the root causes of family stress. You'll find a sense of community and understanding here, a place where the struggle is acknowledged without judgment. The conversations in this podcast offer more than strategies; they provide a framework for building safety and connection, helping to shift your perspective from "what's wrong with my child" to "what happened to my child." It’s a resource for anyone exhausted by conventional advice that hasn't worked, emphasizing that you are not alone on this journey. Through stories, expert interviews, and Robyn's own grounded wisdom, the podcast fosters resilience and hope, empowering you to create a family life grounded in co-regulation and mutual understanding.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Podcast Episodes
EP 261: When It's Not Working: Troubleshooting [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:46
You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly t…
{REPLAY} Is Co-Regulation Just Coddling?? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:19
This episode originally aired in September 2024. Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid que…
EP 260: No Strategy Will Fix This: What Actually Helped Instead [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:46
Listen in on a conversation I have with a Club member whose family lived through years of intense, violent, and deeply isolating behavior…and eventually found their way to something different. It’s a story about holding…
EP 259: Holding Hope when your Child's Behavior is Truly Dangerous [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:12
Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality…
EP 258: Creating a Connected Classroom with Marti Smith & Amie Huggins [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:06
What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety? Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the wa…
EP 257: One Reason why Kids Melt Down after School [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:37
When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has…
EP 256: When Behavior Feels Personal, It Might Actually Be Sensory [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:11
Have you ever had one of those moments where your child completely loses it over the wrong cup, a sibling getting too close, or one tiny thing at the end of the day? It can feel like they are actually mad at you- or thei…
EP 255: Grieving as a Parent with a History of Trauma: Part 6 of 6 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 45:35
The Grief No One Talks About in Trauma-Informed Parenting Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief…
{RERECORD} But....What about a Consequence?! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:31
This episode is an update and re-record of episode 56 Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries. These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably. In this episode, we get clear on what exac…