EP 275: Does Lowering Demands Ever Cause More Stress?

EP 275: Does Lowering Demands Ever Cause More Stress?

Author: Robyn Gobbel July 21, 2026 Duration: 44:53
Screens. Sugar. Anything that feels really good. The advice to just "lower the demand" can fall really short because for some kids, more access brings real relief. But for others, more access actually causes more stress and we wind up asking kids to take on a responsibility that is beyond their developmental capacity. This episode digs into what's actually generating the stress underneath the behavior, and what it looks like when a kid needs to be held steady instead of shifting our ex...

Robyn Gobbel, an internationally recognized expert in children's mental health, hosts The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}. This podcast serves as a compassionate guide for parents raising children whose nervous systems are vulnerable due to past trauma, toxic stress, neuroimmune disorders, or sensory processing differences. Each episode is dedicated to decoding the confusing and often overwhelming behaviors that can leave caregivers feeling isolated and unsure. Robyn translates complex neuroscience and attachment theory into practical, relatable insights, moving beyond simple behavioral tips to address the root causes of family stress. You'll find a sense of community and understanding here, a place where the struggle is acknowledged without judgment. The conversations in this podcast offer more than strategies; they provide a framework for building safety and connection, helping to shift your perspective from "what's wrong with my child" to "what happened to my child." It’s a resource for anyone exhausted by conventional advice that hasn't worked, emphasizing that you are not alone on this journey. Through stories, expert interviews, and Robyn's own grounded wisdom, the podcast fosters resilience and hope, empowering you to create a family life grounded in co-regulation and mutual understanding.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 50

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Podcast Episodes
EP 281: What I Wanted Every Kid in My Office to Know [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:22
My guiding north star when I was a therapist working with kids (and grown-ups) was always helping them not just get to know their brain and how it works, but actually to develop a relationship with the parts of themselve…
EP 279: Is There a Behavior Intervention Flowchart?? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:26
You want the flowchart. Of course you do! If X, then Y would be something to follow when there's no bandwidth left to think it through in the moment. But there isn't a flowchart, and this episode gets into why: stress ca…
EP 278: So Many Services! How to Prioritize? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:32
OT on Tuesday, a speech eval callback on Wednesday, play therapy on Thursday, a school meeting on Friday that's really just another appointment in disguise. When the calendar starts looking like a second job, the questio…
Ep 277: This Kind of Shame Doesn't Heal Alone: A Parent Guest [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:26
So many struggling and overwhelmed parents feel like their biggest problems are their kids' behaviors and the chaos that's taking over their family. This week's guest, a longtime Club member, talks about how she slowly c…
EP 276: Cues of Safety: How to Help when Nothing is Ever Right [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:02
Every morning (or afternoon or evening) feels like just one long stream of complaints. Breakfast isn’t right, the bowl isn’t right, SOMETHING is always not right, and no matter what gets fixed, it’s never right enough. ^…
EP 274: The Only Three Things You Actually Need to Remember [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:48
Every behavior. Every parenting moment that feels impossible. It all comes back to three sentences — the three core tenets that distill how relational neuroscience makes sense of behavior and give us a roadmap toward cha…
EP 273: What this Framework Asks of Helpers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:02
You know that kid who just can't stay in the therapy room? They leave, wander around, get into things that aren't theirs, or are maybe even destructive? And three therapists have already called it quits. Maybe this descr…
EP 272: Where Do I Even Start? A Brand New Listener's Roadmap [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:19
When life is overwhelming and your kid's behavior makes no sense — and feels like it's getting worse — even the best resources get hard to use. You're too dysregulated to sort through 270 episodes or an almost 300-page b…