Monday, May 11 - Activities

Apparently, even the CEO of Uber can’t maintain a perfect 5-star passenger rating, which honestly should make the rest of us feel a little better the next time a driver gives us four stars because we dared to exist quietly in the back seat. Meanwhile, Britney Spears has reportedly added a Burmese python to her collection of pets, because at this point Britney’s life feels like somebody randomly selecting storylines from a bingo wheel. In one of the more horrifying stories of the week, a hospital was forced to temporarily pause surgeries after dealing with an ant infestation. And if there’s ever a sentence you don’t want to hear right before going under anesthesia, it’s probably, “Sorry, we’re having a bug issue.” The infamous guy accused of pooping diamonds is apparently planning to represent himself in court, which feels incredibly on-brand for a story that already sounds completely made up. Speaking of painful situations, Kevin Bacon reportedly got attacked by bees, proving nature does not care how famous you are. Elsewhere, a man admitted he decided to eat at a Vietnamese restaurant specifically because the name sounded so awful he became curious. Honestly, that’s either a terrible strategy or the greatest accidental marketing campaign of all time. The boys also break down some of the funniest moments from the recent Kevin Hart Roast, while another growing trend has people on edge after thieves have reportedly started drilling into vehicle gas tanks to steal fuel directly out of parked cars. And finally, today happens to be National The Twilight Zone Day, which honestly feels appropriate considering every headline lately already sounds like it came from another dimension.