432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole

432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole

Author: Robert Duff, Ph.D. February 28, 2025 Duration: 1:09:21

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace.

What We Cover in This Episode:

  • Terri's journey from talent agent to psychotherapist

  • Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself

  • How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency

  • The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns

  • Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies

  • The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no

  • How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it's helpful

  • Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues

  • How Terri's book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background
01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist
16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency
25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency
30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy
39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency
42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics
49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no
52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory
58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Me:

If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!


Robert Duff, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist who finds most self-help advice too sanitized to be useful. On The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych, he cuts through the fluff with a direct, science-backed approach. Each episode is built on the premise that real improvement requires honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Duff brings his background in neuroscience and clinical psychology to interviews with a wide range of fascinating guests, dissecting topics from mental health struggles and relationship dynamics to the latest brain research. Listeners consistently note his skill at asking pointed questions that get to the heart of an issue, then translating complex psychological concepts into language anyone can apply. This isn't about quick fixes or vague positivity; it's a practical, evidence-based look at how our minds work and how we can work with them better. The tone is conversational and grounded, like getting actionable advice from a knowledgeable friend who isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Whether exploring anxiety, habits, or the science of motivation, this podcast delivers substance without the jargon, making professional insights accessible for everyday life. You'll find the discussions are both deeply informative and surprisingly relatable, a combination that has built a dedicated audience for Duff's unique perspective.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Podcast Episodes
435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:33
In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxie…
An Update From Robert [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28
Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!
Chapter From My NEW BOOK - Bipolar Answers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:58
Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar An…
433: Stuck in Trauma & Embarrassed by Emotional Reactions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:47
Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The f…
431: Pathological Demand Avoidance & Persistent Low-Grade Depression [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:35
Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful liste…
430: The Truth About Recovery with Dr. Mala [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:37
Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her…
429: Coping with the Cruel World & Enduring Heartbreak [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:27
In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for…
428: Overcoming Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:09:33
In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of bo…
427: THE Guided Meditation you need for 2025 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:58
In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and…
426: How to Find Purpose and Not Regret Your Life with Jordan Grumet [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:33
In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of "little…