Richard Buckworth (Audio); Why Feeling “Normal” Can Be the Biggest Lie After Adoption

In this interview, Dr Naomi Murphy and David Jones speak with Richard Buckworth about adoption, identity, and the long shadow of unprocessed trauma. Richard shares how his experience as an adoptee shaped his upcoming book, One Voice, and the therapeutic work he now does with family constellations, journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram. The conversation explores belonging, self-worth, secrecy, people-pleasing, inherited trauma, and the importance of facing difficult truths with patience and self-awareness. https://familyconstellationstherapy.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/richard-buckworth-11503966/ Key topics Why Richard wrote One Voice and challenged the belief that adoption had not affected him. The childhood feeling that something was “off,” including depression, disconnection, and not belonging. Emotional shutdown, dissociation, and survival strategies. Adoption-related vulnerabilities, including not looking like anyone in the family and feeling disconnected from one’s lineage. The complexity of the adoption triad: adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive parents. Discovering what “adopted” really meant at around age seven. Secrecy, identity confusion, and the experience of having two mothers and two fathers in different senses. Family constellation therapy and its focus on generational patterns and blocked family connections. How Richard combines constellation work with journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram. Why truth, patience, and emotional honesty are central to healing. Timestamps 00:00 Introducing Richard Buckworth 02:33 Why Richard wrote One Voice 05:05 Childhood feelings of not belonging 07:28 Emotional shutdown and dissociation 08:41 Coping with bullying and avoidance 10:24 Adoption, identity, and belonging 14:35 Separation at birth and adult mental health 17:13 The adoption triad 18:35 Understanding adoption at age seven 20:46 The confusing story of being “chosen” 23:34 Secrecy and having two mothers 25:24 What might have changed with earlier awareness 29:10 Epigenetics and intergenerational trauma 37:39 What family constellation therapy is 43:51 Somatic healing and listening to the body 47:50 Combining multiple therapeutic modalities 53:57 Advice for people disconnected from their roots 54:18 “The truth will set you free” 57:02 Honesty, family, and the next generation Notable quotes “It takes more effort to not feel than to actually feel.” “The truth will set you free.” “I was so good at lying to myself.” Key frameworks Family constellation therapy: Exploring present issues through family systems and generational patterns. Journey therapy: Releasing emotional blocks and accessing feelings that were shut down. Shamanic healing: Exploring ancestral patterns beyond a traditional seven-generation framework. The Enneagram: Understanding motivation, avoidance, and behavioral patterns