Pain Is Not From Loss

Pain Is Not From Loss

Author: The Modern Buddhism Podcast March 7, 2026 Duration: 39:14

I Grieved for 20 Years… Until I Learned This

We are delighted to welcome back Gen Gomlam in this powerful episode. 

How do you transform the pain of loss into something life-enhancing? In this conversation, Gen Gomlam – a Buddhist nun and former hospice nurse – shares her deeply personal journey through grief, from the loss of her brother to the healing of her relationship with her father.

Drawing on Buddha's teachings on the mind, she explores how attachment keeps us locked in pain, why grief isn't the badge of love we think it is, and how real happiness can only be found within.

Whether you're navigating loss right now or simply want to understand your mind better, this conversation offers practical wisdom and genuine hope.


Chapters

00:00 Introduction

00:24 Early Experiences With Loss

04:11 Pain Comes From Our Reaction

06:41 Understanding Attachment

11:27 Prolonged Grief Is Attachment

19:07 Love Doesn't Die When They Die

20:36 Healing With Her Father

27:02 Tara's Mantra and the Funeral

31:03 Looking for Love vs. Loving Others

34:00 Therapy, Dharma and Lasting Change


Book References

How to Understand the Mind  by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

Gen Kelsang Gomlam is a senior teacher within the New Kadampa Tradition, an international Buddhist tradition with over a thousand meditation centers worldwide.


Want More?

Find a meditation center near you:

https://kadampa.org/nkt-center-search/?lang=en

Listen to teaching clips:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5QPCFEyZz74nOHZbQr1B4z

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There’s a quiet space between the rush of daily life and the ancient wisdom of Buddhist teachings, and that’s where you’ll find The Modern Buddhism Podcast. Rather than presenting philosophy as a distant theory, this series focuses on tangible, practical application. Each episode features conversations with individuals who are actively integrating meditation and Buddha’s insights into their modern routines, demonstrating how these practices foster genuine resilience and a more steady sense of contentment. The discussions are grounded in real experience, exploring how inner peace isn’t about retreating from the world but engaging with it more skillfully. You’ll hear from a variety of voices within the New Kadampa Tradition, who produce the podcast, sharing their personal journeys and the subtle shifts in perspective that come from consistent practice. This isn’t about abstract ideals; it’s about the texture of daily life-managing stress, navigating relationships, and finding moments of happiness amidst ordinary challenges. Tuning into this podcast feels like joining a thoughtful dialogue where timeless principles meet contemporary questions, offering listeners a resource for cultivating a stronger, more peaceful mind right where they are.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 36

The Modern Buddhism Podcast
Podcast Episodes
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