Did you know that passive traders are some of the happiest traders out there? That's true. I'll tell you why in this episode.
So the longer I trade, and I've been doing this, geez, it's been it's been a while. Okay. But it's been a while. And the longer I do it, the more I realize that the only thing that is holding me back, is myself. It's not the economy. It's not the stock market. It's not the Fed, it's not the government, it's not lack of money, or too much money or any of those issues. There's nothing - it's not an external issue. Because all of that stuff can be addressed. And it can be overcomed. It's not that hard. But internally, that's the stuff that takes the most work. Because most of the time, you don't even know what the issue is internally.
And so the thing that separates winning traders from losing traders, is mentality - their mentality, specifically, I mean, you can give the same trade to two different traders, and one will win and the other one will lose. I've said this over and over again. Why? Well, mentality, it's their mental state. It's the stuff that they're thinking about. That's what's holding us back. Fear, stress, doubt, lack of confidence. All of these can limit your success in trading and in life. You see it all the time, you see people walking by like, "Oh, my God, this guy should have been so successful, but he's not, why he's not taking the right actions". Why? Because of fear, or stress, or doubt, or lack of confidence. So if you are not as successful as you want to be, the fastest way to fix it, is to work on yourself.
Now, I didn't say it was easy, but it's the fastest. So how do you overcome the self-imposed limitations? How do you how do you fix this? Well, sometimes the answer that we're looking for, will not come from the stuff that we already know,right? Einstein said this, I think what they say - it's attributed, the quote is attributed to him, but nobody knows if he actually invented it or not. But the quote was that when you have a problem, you cannot use the same type of thinking, to find a solution for that problem. You have to change your thinking, you have to grow, you have to expand your mentality and look at it from a different way look at the problem in a different light, in order to see the answer, because otherwise the answer would be easier, and you just do it, you wouldn't have the problem in the first place.
So in this case, I found an answer. From studies on relationships. Totally different, right? Have nothing to do with trading. What is what is having a good relationship have to do with trading? I'll tell you.
One of the most respected experts in marital stability, his name is John Gottman. Okay. Now this guy has shown repeatedly that he can predict with 90% accuracy, which couples will stay together, and which will get divorced. So he can watch you and your spouse for a few minutes. And he'll tell you if you're going to last or not.
So not only am I going to tell you why passive traders are happier, and how to be happier. But I'm also going to share with you how to improve your marriage. Looks pretty good, right? Not bad. 2 for 1 in this podcast.
All right, you're welcome! All right, the difference between happy and unhappy couples is the balance between positive and negative interactions during conflict. So basically what this means is for every negative interaction you have with your spouse, you gotta have five or more positive interactions. Okay? So let's say your wife comes home, and she says something, maybe she asks you a question that you've already answered 100 times, and you look at her and you roll your eyes, that would be a negative interaction.
But if she's sitting down, or you're walking, you know, you go for a walk, or you're in the mall or whatever, and you reach over and you grab her hand, and you hold her hand for a few seconds, that will be a positive interaction. All right? So you have the negative and the positive, couples that stay together, give each other five positive interactions for every one negative. These are just simple things, right? raising your voice, negative interaction. Giving a hug, positive interaction. So if you want to stay happy, make sure your ratio is five or more to one. There you go. Marriage, problem solved. Now, if you want to be a happier trader, you can use the same ratio, five winning trades to one losing trade. Maybe that's why I've never really met a happy day trader. Think about it. If you know people who trade - day traders are not the happiest bunch, they're not usually the most miserable bunch, right? Because they lose on most of their trades. They lose after lose after lose now, now yeah, the losses are smaller, and they try to make it up on one or two big ones. But most of the time, they're losing money. And that affects you mentally. Okay?
But as passive traders, we win on most of our trades. So we get positive reinforcement, over and over and over. And that results in what? Well, less stress, more confidence in what you're doing, and in yourself, less doubt that it's going to work or not, because you've seen proof that it works over and over again. And less fear, not to mention more profits. So, you get everything right? You're happier, and you get more money, and the money does not come where you're not happy because of the money. The money comes when you are happier. Does that make sense? The money is a byproduct, you will trade properly when you are happier. And when you trade properly, then the money comes. So the money is the byproduct of trading properly, which happens when you are happier, which happens when you're passive trading. And you're just winning.
So if you want a happy relationship, do five nice things for one bad one. If you want to be a happier trader, be a passive trader. Take care folks trader. Trade with the odds in your favor.
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