186: Exploring the Science of Sexual Desire and Fantasies with Dr. Justin Lehmiller

186: Exploring the Science of Sexual Desire and Fantasies with Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Author: Sexologist Melissa Hadley Barrett January 29, 2025 Duration: 40:53
In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, we’re thrilled to welcome Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a renowned research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and one of the leading voices in the field of human sexuality. Dr. Lehmiller, author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life and The Psychology of Human Sexuality, shares groundbreaking insights into the fascinating world of sexual fantasies and desire.  Dr. Lehmiller discusses key findings from his research, including the results of the largest-ever survey of sexual fantasies in the United States, which reveals what Americans are fantasizing about and how these desires reflect societal shifts in attitudes toward sex and intimacy.  Topics Covered in This Episode:  Future Directions in Sexuality Research: Dr. Lehmiller highlights underexplored areas in the field and shares his vision for advancing the study of human sexuality.  Consensual Non-Monogamy: We dive into his research on CNM relationships and discuss the cultural and structural changes needed to support diverse relationship styles.  Cultural and Demographic Variations: Learn how factors like age, sexual orientation, and cultural norms shape the nature and prevalence of sexual fantasies.  Research Inspiration: Dr. Lehmiller shares what sparked his passion for studying human sexuality and how his role at the Kinsey Institute has influenced his work.  Sexual Fantasy Trends: Discover the societal and psychological insights behind the most common sexual fantasies, and how open communication about desires can strengthen relationships.  As the host of the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast, and a guest expert featured on platforms like Netflix’s Sex, Explained, Dr. Lehmiller brings a wealth of knowledge, humor, and empathy to this thought-provoking conversation.  Tune in to uncover the science behind sexual desire and learn how to navigate your fantasies with greater confidence and understanding.  Links and Resources Mentioned in the Episode: Dr. Justin Lehmiller’s Blog and Podcast: Sex and Psychology   Connect with Us:  Don’t forget to subscribe to The Penis Project Podcast and leave a review! Share this episode with someone who could benefit from fantasy, doesn’t everyone?  Websites:  https://melissahadleybarrett.com   Men’s health only  https://rshealth.com.au/  All genders  http://www.menshealthphysiotherapy.com.au/  http://prost.com.au/     Facebook:  https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814    Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/  https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/  TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett  YouTube: Melissa Hadley Barrett  Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/   TEDX  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA   

For anyone who’s ever felt alone or confused about a sexual health issue, The Penis Project Podcast: Breaking Taboos in Men’s Sexual Health provides a rare and essential space for honest dialogue. Hosted by Australian Nurse Practitioner and Sexologist Melissa Hadley Barrett, this podcast emerged in 2020 from a collaboration with physiotherapist Jo Milios, born from a shared frustration with the silence and stigma surrounding men's bodies. The show has since grown into a substantial resource, with nearly 200 episodes and over 219,000 streams, reflecting its vital role. What you’ll hear here isn’t just theoretical; Melissa blends her clinical expertise with direct, anonymized conversations from her practice, often including the perspectives of patients and their partners. This approach transforms each episode into a nuanced exploration of real-life concerns-from erectile function and pelvic pain to intimacy and communication-topics that are routinely avoided yet universally impactful. The discussions are grounded in science but delivered with a relatable, compassionate tone that makes complex information accessible. Tuning into this podcast means joining a community where awkward questions are welcomed, evidence replaces myth, and personal stories illuminate the path to better health. It’s a practical guide for men and those who care about them, dismantling embarrassment one conversation at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

The Penis Project Podcast: Breaking Taboos in Men’s Sexual Health
Podcast Episodes
168: A Touchy Subject [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:00
In this episode I speak to the amazing founder of “A Touchy Subject”, Victoria Cullen. https://www.atouchysubject.com/ A Touchy Subject is a great resource for men and their partners about sexual recovery when diagnosed…
167: Porn Star Liam [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:23
Is it possible to break your penis? Yes it is. Today we discuss this tricky penis problem with Liam. This issue is always a problem but even more so when your penis is your livelihood. Listen here to find out how he brok…
166: Running for life - A prostate cancer story [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:43
In this episode of the "Penis Project Podcast," I chat with Jason Phillips to discuss his journey following his prostate surgery. Jason wants to give back, get on with life as he knows it and most importantly raise aware…
165: Pete and his Dynamo Penis / Penile Implants [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:09
In this episode of the "Penis Project Podcast," I chat with Jenny and Peter to discuss Peter's journey with penile implants following his prostate surgery. They cover various topics related to the decision-making process…
164: Canada calling - for help! A prostate journey. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:31
Today we speak to George all the way from Canada. George came to Australia and fixed his continence and got his old fella to remember what he was supposed to do. This man had a very complicated and drawn-out post op reco…
163: Is that a gun in your pocket…Frisk search gone wrong [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:46
If you are a regular listener to The Penis Project then you will probably remember Rod Popcorn from episode 53. If you haven’t listened back that far, then I recommend you go back as this is a funny, honest account of a…
162: Online Dating - A first-hand account from an expert. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:30
Happy Valentine’s Day! Since today is the day of love and friendship, I thought it would be a good time to discuss online dating. Today we are talking to Lee, and this is a fun and informative discussion. Lee has been on…
160: Swinging, a first-hand account. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:15:20
This week, Melissa and Kate speak to a couple who met at a swinger’s group. Yes, you heard correctly, swingers. This is a lifestyle choice that many of our listeners may not know anything about. I think I am open minded…
159: Feelings & Healing – A Chat with Michael Hodge [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:10
You've probably heard about stress causing ED, but what about the role of repressed emotions? In this episode I chat via Zoom with Michael Hodge in Texas, who shares his unique perspective and introduces what he describe…