Why Can't We Have Nice Trains?

Why Can't We Have Nice Trains?

Author: Andrew Heaton August 5, 2026 Duration: 1:07:30

It's not that America won't spend money on mass transit, it's that we piss it away when we do. Our transit system is a mess, with a lot of problems in spending, procurement, NIMBYism and good 'ol fashioned idiocy.

Will Poff-Webster is the Director of Infrastructure Policy at the Institute for Progress, where he works on energy, transportation and housing policy.


Finding a sensible conversation about politics that doesn't devolve into partisan shouting can feel like a lonely endeavor. That's the space The Political Orphanage occupies, hosted by comedian and self-described independent Andrew Heaton. This isn't a debate show; it's a series of long-form discussions where curiosity replaces contempt. Each episode, Heaton sits down with authors, policy experts, and various thought leaders to unpack complex ideas without the usual animosity. The goal is to explore the substance behind the headlines-the "big thinky stuff," as he puts it-while remembering that the absurdity of the political world is often best met with a laugh. You'll hear genuine conversations that delve into policy nuances, historical context, and the philosophies shaping our world, all filtered through a lens of wit and a distinct lack of bile. The result is a podcast that feels like a respite from the noise, a place for the politically curious who don't find a comfortable home in the entrenched camps of left and right. It’s news, comedy, and politics blended into something uniquely engaging, proving that serious topics don't require a solemn tone. Tune in for the kind of thoughtful, humorous dialogue that reminds you why these discussions matter in the first place.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 50

The Political Orphanage
Podcast Episodes
George Washington's Anti-Daddy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:43:26
Why did the United States become a stable republic while so many revolutions ended in dictatorship? The answer lies in two men pivitol to the Revolution: George Washington... and Oliver Cromwell. A century before George…
How Harlots Saved America (Rebroadcast) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:01
What if history isn't a string of great man biopics or a struggle between conservatives and progressives? What if it's a battle of disciplinarians against drunks and harlots? Thaddeus Russell comes on to talk about his b…
America's Dueling Enlightenments (Rebroadcast) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:14:51
The Founding Fathers were all children of the Enlightenment, and they agreed on kicking King George out, but they never agreed on how to run the country. Seth Radwell, author of American Schism: How the Two Enlightenment…
Cicero and the Founding Fathers (Rebroadcast) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:08:57
Jeffrey Rosen is a legal scholar and the President of the National Constitution Center. He's the author "the Pursuit of Happiness: How Classical Writers on Virtue Inspired the Lives of the Founders and Defined America."
Zuby Grew up in a Company Town [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:18
Zuby is a British rapper who spent his childhood on a Saudi Aramco compound—a sprawling corporate community complete with schools, recreation, housing, and services. We discuss what it was like growing up in a place wher…
(Preview) Vampire Bats Thwart Henry Ford [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:13
Henry Ford revolutionized manufacturing, built the modern automobile industry, and amassed one of the greatest fortunes in American history. Then he decided to conquer the Amazon. In this installment of our series on com…
The Dark Side of Corporate Utopia: Pullman vs. Hershey [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:56
George Pullman built his employees a sparkling company town with clean homes, parks, libraries, luxury trains, and some of the best living conditions in the country—but demanded obedience in return. When recession hit an…
(Preview) The Socialist Who Bought a Town [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:54
Robert Owen was a factory owner, a social reformer, the father of British socialism… and possibly the nicest company-town tyrant in history. Long before Karl Marx called for revolution, Owen tried to build a kinder versi…
The Emperor of Epcot: Walt Disney and Company Towns [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:08:49
What if your landlord was also your boss, mayor, bartender, and moral hall monitor? This week, Andrew Heaton talks with Brian Brushwood about the strange history of company towns—from industrial utopias to corporate feud…
Privacy Through a Cop's Eyes [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:35
Mike is a twenty-year police officer and current sergeant supervising a squad of violent crime detectives. After Andrew's recent conversation with Naomi Brockwell about surveillance, encryption, and the slow erosion of p…