Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. March 16, 2026 Duration: 44:34

What happens when the life you built no longer fits who you are — or the world no longer feels safe for your family? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with TJ Shimeld to talk about coming out after marriage, building an unconventional but beautiful co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, raising a transgender daughter, and ultimately making the life-changing decision to leave the U.S. for Spain.

It’s a conversation about identity, reinvention, grief, freedom, LGBTQ family experiences, and what it means to finally build a life that feels aligned. TJ shares how the 2016 election marked the beginning of a deep unraveling of the “American dream” he thought he was supposed to want — and how that unraveling eventually led him, his husband, and his daughter Opal to a more peaceful, affirming life abroad.


🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Sometimes the life that looks “right” from the outside isn’t the life that fits.
  • Coming out later in life can be painful, liberating, and deeply clarifying.
  • Divorce does not have to mean destruction; it can lead to a different kind of family.
  • Queer and trans safety isn’t theoretical — it shapes daily life, choices, and futures.
  • The feeling of betrayal many LGBTQ+ people experienced after the 2016 election was real and lasting.
  • Finding a place where your family can relax, be seen, and be safe can change everything.
  • Reinvention is possible, even after years of living for everyone else.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

TJ Shimeld is an author, speaker, life coach, and real estate investor currently living in Spain with his husband and daughter. After years of living a life that looked like the “American dream” from the outside, TJ chose a radically different path — one centered on authenticity, healing, and freedom. Today, he helps others navigate transformation, reinvention, and possibility.


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The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



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Every family has a story, but the paths taken by LGBTQIA+ parents are often uniquely creative, filled with both profound joy and specific hurdles. The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories is a weekly space where those narratives take center stage. Host Jaimie Kelton, a queer mom herself, guides conversations that are as laugh-out-loud funny as they are deeply moving. Each episode features candid interviews with a diverse range of guests, all sharing the intimate details of how they built their families-from adoption and fostering to IVF, surrogacy, and co-parenting. You’ll hear how these families navigate school systems, healthcare, and everyday social situations, tackling challenges with resilience and humor. This podcast digs into the real stuff of queer family life, covering topics across parenting, health, fitness, and sexuality, all through an authentic LGBTQ lens. The goal isn’t just to share stories; it’s to normalize and celebrate the beautiful spectrum of ways to create a home. Tune in for a sense of community, practical insights, and a powerful reminder that family is about love, in all its forms.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

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