Queer therapist and “kid of queer parents” Ann Russo joins Jaimie to show what ordinary, extraordinary queer family looks like. Raised in the ’80s by a mom, dad, and dad’s partner under one roof—publicly “the roommate” for safety—Ann shares how chosen family (yes, Deadhead potlucks) and three parents taught compassion, and why bio vs. non-bio bonds never mattered. We get religious trauma 101: Ann’s fly-on-the-wall years inside a fundamentalist church as an out teen, what religious trauma is (and isn’t), and practical tools clients can use today—nervous-system grounding, boundary-setting, and how to vet an affirming therapist without having to educate them first. We also process headline grief (recorded right after a church shooting), talk about resisting bad-faith narratives, and lean into queer joy as a form of resilience. Ann’s forthcoming clinician guide on treating religious trauma (2026) ties it all together with steps for centering kids, community, and love when the world feels loud.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Growing up with two dads and a mom under one roof—and why it worked
- “Roommate” life in the ’80s: safety, secrecy, and chosen family
- Equal bonds: why bio vs. non-bio didn’t matter in Ann’s house
- Pop-culture panic vs. reality: exposure to queerness doesn’t “make” kids queer
- Religious trauma 101: definitions, symptoms, and first steps toward repair
- Inside a fundamentalist church (as an out queer person) and what Ann learned
- Coping with gun-violence news: nervous-system care, boundaries, community
- Generational love: passing down compassion instead of shame
- Queer joy as resistance—and as fuel for the long haul
- How to vet an affirming therapist (red/green flags, intake clues, language)
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
Ann Russo, LCSW — psychotherapist and founder of AMR Therapy; specializes in religious trauma. Currently writing a book to help clinicians treat religious trauma (expected 2026).
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🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
- AMR Therapy (Ann’s practice) — book mailing list available
- COLAGE — community for people with LGBTQ+ parents
- How to Vet a Therapist — look for inclusive forms/language, lived training, clear stances
- Support: The Trevor Project; Trans Lifeline; local LGBTQ+ centers
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🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
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The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
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