Sam & Laura Abbey are BACK, y’all. The last time they were on the show it was still called If These Ovaries Could Talk, they only had one kid, and their Bravo reality show moment had just helped catapult them into queer family-building visibility.
Seven years and two very boy-ish boys later, we’re catching up on IVF paid out of pocket (twice), using the same sperm donor for both kids, what happens when you over- or under-buy sperm, and yes—having to literally sign paperwork to “dispose” of a leftover vial while a straight guy wrestles with the “morality” of it.
We get into raising sensitive, muddy, train-obsessed boys in a queer household that doesn’t subscribe to gender norms, ongoing origin-story conversations with their donor-conceived kids, giving boys permission to cry, and helping them navigate comments about pride flags and two-mom families. Plus, Laura shares her new project, Unseen, a queer millennial life podcast from Pink Robin Shop about art, culture, motherhood, and growing up queer with basically zero representation.
If you’re navigating donor conception, raising boys in a queer family, or figuring out how to talk to your kids about their origin stories without making it a big talk, this one’s for you.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- The “talk” is never one talk.
- Donor-conception conversations evolve with age — kids should always know their story.
- Buy more sperm than you think you’ll need.
- Limited vials + failed IUIs/IVF = strategic (and emotional) math.
- Kids come out who they are.
- Two queer moms, zero gender norms… and still: trains, mud, dinosaurs, chaos.
- Boys deserve big feelings.
- Crying, naming emotions, and sensitivity are celebrated — not shut down.
- Two-mom families require extra “coming out.”
- Pride flags and visibility can put kids in situations they didn’t choose; support matters.
- Community changes everything.
- Growing up with other two-mom families normalizes their world and builds resilience.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
- Sam & Laura Abbey are a married lesbian couple and moms to two energetic. They first stepped into the spotlight on a Bravo reality show back in 2013–2014, where their wedding and early fertility journey were documented at a time when just being a same-sex couple was considered “enough of a storyline. They’ve been openly sharing the ups, downs, and hilarious chaos of boy-mom, two-mom life ever since over on Instagram at @theabbeyfam.
- Laura is also a writer and educator who now teaches college writing and co-hosts Unseen: Queer Millennial Life Unfiltered, a podcast from Pink Robin Shop that explores art, culture, parenthood, and growing up queer in a world that didn’t exactly roll out the rainbow carpet.
🏳️🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!
• California Cryobank If you’re listening to this show, there’s a good chance you’re building your family the queer way — and might need a little help in the sperm department. 🩵 Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!
•Be Parent Surrogacy Be Parent oversees the creation of family through surrogacy and IVF, from the very beginning, extending support even well after birth. Mention The Queer Family Podcast to receive $2000 of your treatment!
🏳️🌈 Book with GWK's Spring Break Cruise Vacation! Join Jaimie and her family (and other LGBTQIA+ families) on a 3 night cruise in the Bahamas. Be sure to mention that you heard about it here! Click that link ➡️ https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2026/
🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
Follow Sam & Laura on Instagram: [@theabbeyfam]
Listen to Unseen: Queer Millennial Life Unfiltered
Jaimie’s book: If These Ovaries Could Talk: The Things We’ve Learned About Making an LGBTQ Family (yes, the Abbeys are in it!)
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🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
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