#284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

#284: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Three - Anika struggles to fit in

Author: Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability October 22, 2025 Duration: 16:12

In this third part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne reads aloud “Annika’s Story” from the book he co-authored with Luis Fernando Llosa. The story follows Annika, a seventh grader who moves to a new school and struggles with the temptation to change herself to fit in with a popular group. At first she is thrilled to be included, but little by little she begins to lose touch with who she really is, her confidence, her interests, and her natural kindness.

Through Annika’s experience, Kim reflects on how easily children can give up too much of themselves for acceptance and how important it is for parents and educators to help them stay connected to their authentic selves. He reminds listeners that belonging should never come at the cost of identity and that caring adults can gently guide children back to their center when they start to drift. Kim also shares that this theme is at the heart of the Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens Care Professionals Seminar, which helps professionals support families in building true confidence and social resilience.

🍎 Simplicity Parenting Coach Training

📓Emotionally Resilient Tweens & Teens Care Professionals Seminar

❤️ Support the Podcast

📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit

📲 Request a Consultation with Kim John Payne

📚 Simplicity Parenting Book Store


Kim John Payne, author of the bestselling book "Simplicity Parenting," brings his decades of experience as a family counselor and educator directly to you in The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne. Each episode feels like a thoughtful conversation, moving beyond quick tips to explore the deeper rhythms of family life. You’ll hear practical wisdom on reducing the clutter-not just of toys, but of schedules, expectations, and digital noise-that so often overwhelms modern childhood. This podcast delves into how creating a calmer, more predictable home environment can strengthen your child's resilience, focus, and sense of security. Payne addresses real questions from parents, offering grounded strategies for everything from sibling rivalry and screen time to fostering authentic play and emotional well-being. The discussions are rooted in the understanding that simplifying isn't about deprivation, but about making space for connection and growth. Tune in for a supportive, nuanced exploration of parenting that honors the unique spirit of your family. Each weekly episode serves as a gentle reminder that the most meaningful moments often arise from a less hurried, more intentional approach to life together.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne
Podcast Episodes
#261: No. You Do It! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:39
In this episode we hear how to help a child who insists on being helped do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves, and how to support them in finding ways to problem solve and build greater agency and comp…
#260: Bed Time Hostage Taking [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:01
In this episode we explore why children cling on to a parent at bedtime and refuse to sleep unless they mom/dad/caregiver is laying next to them. As always we hear about ways to help this tendency that mainly relate to e…
#259: Plan B - Helping Tweens & Teens Adjust [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:19
In this episode we explore how to help tween and teens develop a plan for when things go wrong and how to adjust in order to keep moving towards their goal. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Professionals Seminar ❤️ Support t…
#258: Getting Our Timing Right [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:59
In this episode we explore how to sense when the moment is right to give a simple day-to-day instruction, or to have one of “those” talks that every parent need to do from time to time. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Profe…
#257: Restraint Collapse After the School Day [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:33
In this episode we discuss the concept of restraint collapse and the need for decompression points to help children manage their stress. Kim also emphasizes the importance of setting up a predictable and structured after…
#256: Talking Through Things With Tween & Teens [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:45
When issues come up with tween and teens, how can we have conversations with them that help them feel safe to participate and work things through. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Con…
#255: Exaggerating-Amplifying-Conflating [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:55
In this episode we explore why children can enlarge their accounts of what happened when things went wrong. We break it down to three tendencies and what we can do to help a child gain a better and more accurate perspect…
#254: Why Kids Whine & What We Can Do To Shift the Habit [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:44
Kids who relentlessly complain and whine can often get on a parents nerves no matter how well balanced we are. In this episode we explore why kids whine and what we can do to help them move beyond this habit to feel more…
#253: Turn Hurting Into Helping & Healing Words & Action [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:39
In this episode we explore how to shift hurtful words and actions by calling up the helpful and healing moments that a child, tween or teen brought to those around them, and how this helps us stay well oriented and regul…
#252: How To Avoid Pack up Disasters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:33
In this episode we explore how to prevent over-helping a child clean up their toys and projects, and how this helps them develop agency and competence that will serve them throughout life. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simpli…