#15: Check the Facts

#15: Check the Facts

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center October 16, 2019 Duration: 36:34

In Episode 15 of The Skillful Podcast, Marielle and Ed discuss checking the facts. When you have a painful emotion that you want to change, using the DBT skill called Check the Facts can be very helpful. Sometimes strong, painful emotions aren't a reaction to what has actually happened but are based on beliefs, interpretations, and assumptions about what has happened. Use this skill to help you change emotions YOU want to change - not emotions other people in your life want you to change.

 

Show Highlights: 

 

  • Emotions might not be based on facts
  • Sometimes just checking the facts can bring down a painful emotion quickly
  • Start by naming the specific emotion that you want to change
  • What event brought on the emotion?
  • Be non-judgmental when describing what prompted the emotion
  • Name your interpretations, judgments, assumptions, and thoughts about the prompting event
  • Identify the stories your mind is telling you
  • Ask yourself what you're scared of 
  • Imagine the worst-case scenario and think about how you would cope
  • Often painful emotions are based on assuming a threat and minimizing our ability to cope
  • Assess whether the intensity of your emotion fits the facts
  • Assess whether how long your emotion is lasting fits the facts
  • Remind yourself that you have the capacity to get through very painful things
  • Sometimes the emotion fits the facts but acting on it isn't effective

 

Links & Resources

 

To learn more about DBT and therapy in general, read our blog

 

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

Ask Us a Question!

We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.


Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

The Skillful Podcast
Podcast Episodes
#51: How to Assert Yourself, Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:49
In Part 2 of How to Assert Yourself, Marielle and Ed discuss common interpersonal pitfalls in speaking up for yourself in relationships. Do you swallow your needs and then find they all come out in a rush of words and an…
#50: How to Assert Yourself, Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:05
Do you find it hard to speak up for yourself in relationships? If so, this 2-part series on how to assert yourself may help you understand why it can feel so hard to ask for things or say no in different types of relatio…
#49: Dealing with Fears of Abandonment [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:30
In this episode, Marielle and Ed answer a listener's question about fears of abandonment when conflict arises in relationships. These fears go straight to the heart of old wounds for many people. Often, worry that confli…
#48: Emotion Regulation Overview Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:20
This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here. The skills discussed in this episode may…
#47: Emotion Regulation Overview Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:02
The Emotion Regulation skills in DBT offer lots of ways to help you identify and respond to emotions. Some of the Emotion Regulation skills focus on change, while others focus on acceptance. This toggling back and forth…
#46: Don't Believe Everything You Think [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:20
This episode explores how to apply mindfulness skills to help you manage distressing thoughts using the DBT skill called Mindfulness of Current Thoughts. Thoughts can cause a lot of suffering. Often, thoughts about event…
#45: Soothing Trauma Symptoms with Elle Michel, LMFT [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:26
Today, Marielle interviews Elle Michel, LMFT, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in treating complex trauma. Elle uses a combination of modalities to treat trauma, including DBT, Eye Movement Desensitization and…
#44: Working with Judgments [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:51
Today, we take a deep dive into working with judgments. Judgments about ourselves and others can increase emotional suffering and negatively impact relationships. Judgments are often assumptions, interpretations, or myth…
#43: Distress Tolerance Overview Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:04
The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. In Part 2 of this overview of Distress Tolerance skills, we focus on acceptance skills. Both acc…
#42: Distress Tolerance Overview Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:02
The Distress Tolerance skills in DBT offer creative ways to get through challenging situations without making things worse. Today's episode is Part 1 of an overview of Distress Tolerance as a whole, with a special focus…