#58: Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Interactions

#58: Applying DEAR MAN in Difficult Interactions

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center November 29, 2023 Duration: 33:40

Once you have grasp of the DEAR MAN skill, you might find yourself getting stuck when you try to use it in difficult interactions. Maybe the other person pushes back, tries to change the subject, or refuses to engage fairly.

 

While we can't force anyone to do anything, we can continue to use our skills to stay as effective as possible during heated moments.

 

For full show notes, visit our website: https://bayareadbtcc.com/podcast

DBT Skills Discussed

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Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

The Skillful Podcast
Podcast Episodes
#61: DBT Skills Group for Therapists [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:21
Are you a therapist who wants the experience of being in a DBT skills group yourself? Are you curious about how the skills can help YOU? Marielle and Ed are starting a new skills group designed specifically for therapist…
#60: Problem Solving [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:29
What DBT skill do you use when your emotion fits the facts? One option is to work on changing the facts. The skill of Problem Solving offers a structured framework to help you change situations that cause painful emotion…
#59: Willingness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:12
Today's episode discusses the DBT skill of Willingness. Willingness is one of the reality acceptance skills that we teach in Distress Tolerance. This skill can help you let go of fighting what is so you can do what's nee…
#57: Figuring Out How to Change Painful Emotions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:53
Once you have a grasp of the change-oriented skills in DBT (such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving) it can be hard to figure out which one to use. This episode walks you through deciding if and whe…
#56: Emotions Explained: Shame [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:16
Shame is one of the most painful emotions we can experience. This episode explores what shame is, when the emotion is useful (and when it's not), and skills to help you cope when shame threatens to overwhelm you. Shame i…
#55: Emotions Explained: Fear [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:11
Today's episode focuses on the emotion of fear. At its most fundamental, fear keeps us safe. It guides us to fight, flee, or freeze in the face of danger. Often, though, fear can be chronic, manifesting as anxiety, worry…
#54: Emotions Explained: Anger [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:07
In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about. Many people, though, find anger frightening because they hav…
#53: Walking the Middle Path [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:33
When we find ourselves getting caught in extremes, the DBT skill called Walking the Middle Path helps us re-calibrate. Use this skill when you notice you are caught in binary thinking to find a way to move towards center…
#52: Interpersonal Effectiveness Overview [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:38
This episode is an overview of the core Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT, focusing on clarifying objectives, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST. There are a lot of acronyms in the Interpersonal Effectiveness module! Memor…
#51: How to Assert Yourself, Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:49
In Part 2 of How to Assert Yourself, Marielle and Ed discuss common interpersonal pitfalls in speaking up for yourself in relationships. Do you swallow your needs and then find they all come out in a rush of words and an…