We’ve all been there. The kind of day, week, or even month where everything feels heavy. The challenges pile up, the stress mounts, and we start taking ourselves and our lives so seriously that we completely forget to laugh. But what if the very things driving us crazy are actually the secret to finding more joy, confidence, and connection?
I recently had an incredible conversation with my friend Rita Desnoyers-Garcia, a social worker, coach, and mother of three who has a unique specialty: she teaches stressed-out, high-achieving women how to laugh at what drives them nuts. She does this through stand-up comedy and other exercises that calm the nervous system and activate the problem-solving parts of our brain.
Her story is a powerful reminder that sometimes, the most effective way to shift your mindset is to find the funny.
The Moment It All Imploded
Rita’s work is born from her own experience. As a professional mom to three young children, she found herself trying to operate at full-speed in every area of her life, like someone frantically spinning plates. She had created a story in her mind that her mission was to “retire” her husband so their family could have more time together—a goal she hadn’t even discussed with him.
“What I was really doing was... destroying and causing more problems in my family because I wasn’t really paying attention to my kids at all,” she shared.
The breaking point came with a phone call confirming her efforts were “down the toilet”. She muted the phone, sank to the floor, and started to cry. Her kids, seeing her distress, started crying too. In that moment, all the hidden beliefs she had suppressed came rushing to the surface: “You don’t know what you’re doing... What a loser. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah “.
That painful afternoon became a turning point. She knew something had to change and found a coach. The first thing he asked her was:
“Can you be kind and gentle with yourself right now?”
Rita was skeptical. But he pressed, “Just for 30 seconds. Don’t beat yourself up”. She tried it, and in the absence of her inner critic, a quiet calm emerged. That simple, 30-second exercise was the seed for a coaching practice built on self-compassion.
Finding the Funny: From Bucket List to Life’s Work
Comedy was always a “currency” in Rita’s family, a way to get attention in a household of eight. Years later, she decided to check off a bucket list item and take a stand-up comedy class at a local adult school. Though she was petrified, the experience forced her to get serious about finding what was funny in her daily life.
“You just start to see the ridiculousness of a lot of your day,” she explained.
The course culminated in a live show where her entire set was about being a mom. After, a woman from the audience approached her. “I have three kids too,” the woman said. “I laughed so hard at your jokes, I almost peed my pants”.
That was a lightbulb moment. Rita realized this wasn’t just for her; it was a way to help other women feel seen, connect, and release their stress. She began teaching workshops, where she witnessed incredible transformations. One woman told her, “Every week I come in here with something that drives me nuts and I realized it’s part of my set. It is just material”.
Why Laughter Is a Serious Tool for Well-being
You don’t have to be a natural comedian to benefit from this approach. Rita believes everyone has the potential to be funny if they are open to it. The process is less about becoming a professional comic and more about using humor as a tool for a profound internal shift.
Here’s what happens when we learn to find the funny:
* You Gain Perspective: Humor makes you an observer of your life rather than getting caught up in the drama. This distance allows you to see things more clearly.
* You Release Tension: Laughter is one of the body’s built-in mechanisms for releasing stress. When you’re laughing, you move out of the “fight, flight, or freeze” response and signal to your nervous system that you are safe.
* You Build Confidence: Trying something new and scary—like performing in a show—and succeeding makes you freer and more confident. You start to see what else is possible in your life.
* You Embrace Authenticity: Laughter shatters the myth of perfection. It gives you permission to be yourself, make mistakes, and show your vulnerability, which is what people truly connect with.
* You Become a Better Role Model: For those of us who are parents, letting go of the need to be a “perfect mom” is a gift to our children. When they see us relaxed, happy, and able to laugh at ourselves, it gives them permission to be imperfect, too.
Your Invitation to Laugh More
This work is so powerful, and I am thrilled to announce that Rita will be bringing her magic to my new membership platform, Align. She will be hosting weekly “Finding the Funny” sessions every Friday to help us all unload the stress of the week and learn to find the humor in our struggles.
It’s about giving yourself the tools to build mental and emotional fitness in a way that is light, fun, and deeply transformative.
So, think about your week. What was the one thing that drove you absolutely nuts? Now, imagine it was a scene in a sitcom. What happened? How could you tell that story to make a friend laugh?
That’s the starting point. It’s not about ignoring the pain; it’s about finding the punchline right alongside it.
To learn more and join us for “Finding the Funny” with Rita, you can check out all the details on Align here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/alignlab
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