251. How to Stop Performing and Start Communicating with Presence

251. How to Stop Performing and Start Communicating with Presence

Author: Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart December 23, 2025 Duration: 28:25

Why good communication requires presence, not performance.


Effective communication isn't about perfecting your performance. According to Dr. Kate Mason, it's about being powerfully present.

Mason is a world champion debater, executive communication coach, and author of the book Powerfully Likeable. In her work coaching senior executives to communicate more effectively, she emphasizes that it’s not about creating a performative persona, it’s about uncovering the authentic communicator you already are. “The coaching is just bringing the real parts of you to the fore,” she says, “uncovering rather than totally building from scratch. A lot of people come to me and say, I need to be more warm or more insert adjective here. And I say, I'm not gonna help you be more warm if that's not what's coming naturally to you. I am gonna help you work out the thing you're already doing, the thing you're already saying, how to make that comfortable for people around you.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Mason and host Matt Abrahams discuss strategies for more present communication. From avoiding "imposing syndrome” to reducing “the delta between your real self and that corporate persona,” Mason's insights explore how we can bring more of our true selves to the table.

To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.

Episode Reference Links:

Connect:


Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (03:03) - Why Confidence Is the Wrong Goal
  • (04:26) - Bridging Your Real and Work Selves
  • (05:58) - What Is Imposing Syndrome?
  • (07:32) - Catching Yourself Shrinking
  • (09:29) - Rethinking Imposter Syndrome
  • (10:46) - Assertive vs. Agreeable
  • (13:11) - Naming Your Communication Style
  • (16:09) - What You Say vs. How You Show Up
  • (18:14) - Body Language That Signals Openness
  • (19:35) - Executive Messaging Lessons
  • (22:32) - The Final Three Questions
  • (27:18) - Conclusion

 ********
Thank you to our sponsors.
 These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.

This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription.

Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be. 


Ever find yourself scrambling for the right words in a high-stakes meeting or struggling to get your point across clearly? That’s the territory Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques explores. Hosted by Matt Abrahams, a Stanford lecturer and author who understands the real-world pressure of thinking on your feet, this podcast digs into the mechanics of how we connect and convey ideas. Each episode features conversations with specialists across various fields, moving beyond theory to deliver concrete methods you can use immediately. Whether it’s navigating a difficult conversation, structuring a persuasive pitch, or simply becoming a more engaged listener, Matt focuses on the tactical skills that build confidence. The discussions are grounded in his professional experience and academic background, offering a blend of research and relatable application. You’ll hear specific techniques for organizing your thoughts under pressure, using storytelling to make data memorable, and adjusting your communication style for different audiences. This isn’t about abstract concepts; it’s a resource for anyone who needs to influence, lead, or collaborate more effectively in their career and daily interactions. Tune in to this practical podcast for a regular dose of insights that aim to make your communication more intentional and impactful, one conversation at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 284

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
Podcast Episodes
112. From Mistakes to "Missed Takes" [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:14
This episode we're sharing an excerpt from Matt Abrahams's audiobook, Think Faster, Talk Smarter. Listen in as Matt explains how to think like a movie director, where a mistake isn't a grave error, but rather a "missed t…
111. Rethinks: How to Spark Creativity in Your Communication [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:05
“Sparking communication starts with asking why or what or how.”On this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Tina Seelig, the Professor of the Practice at Stanford’s department of management science and engineering and the…
110. Write It Well: How to Craft an Email to Capture Busy Readers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:12
Whatever you’re writing, Todd Rogers says most people are too busy to read it. That’s why, he says, “you want to make it as easy as possible for them."Rogers is a professor of public policy at the Harvard Kennedy School…
108. All In: How Improv Helps You Show Up and Communicate Well [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:59
If you’re reading from your notes, you're going to miss the magic of the moment. That’s why Adam Tobin, Dan Klein, and Patricia Ryan Madsen bring improv techniques to all their communication.Communication experts in thei…