291. Hello, Stranger: Why Curiosity Beats Charisma Every Time

291. Hello, Stranger: Why Curiosity Beats Charisma Every Time

Author: Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart May 25, 2026 Duration: 30:16

What keeps us from being more social? Nick Epley calls it a “mind-reading mistake.”

We all think about what others think, particularly what they think about us. The problem, says Nick Epley, is that we’re almost always wrong.

Epley is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and author of A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. What keeps people from engaging authentically, connecting deeply, and enjoying a meaningful social life? It comes down to an error of social cognition, “A mind-reading mistake,” Epley says. “If I don't think you want to talk to me, I won't try. And I'll never find out that I'm wrong about that.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Epley and host Matt Abrahams explore why we hold ourselves back from meaningful conversation, and what happens when we don’t. From taking an interest in others to sharing more freely about ourselves, Epley shares strategies for being a little more social — and making your life considerably better as a result.

To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.

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Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (01:31) - Problems with Body Language
  • (04:15) - Perspective Getting
  • (07:14) - Asking Better Questions
  • (08:41) - Moving Beyond Small Talk
  • (10:13) - Why We Hold Back
  • (11:33) - Advice For Introverts
  • (15:17) - A Little More Social
  • (18:34) - The Final Three Questions
  • (24:45) - Conclusion

Ever find yourself scrambling for the right words in a high-stakes meeting or struggling to get your point across clearly? That’s the territory Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques explores. Hosted by Matt Abrahams, a Stanford lecturer and author who understands the real-world pressure of thinking on your feet, this podcast digs into the mechanics of how we connect and convey ideas. Each episode features conversations with specialists across various fields, moving beyond theory to deliver concrete methods you can use immediately. Whether it’s navigating a difficult conversation, structuring a persuasive pitch, or simply becoming a more engaged listener, Matt focuses on the tactical skills that build confidence. The discussions are grounded in his professional experience and academic background, offering a blend of research and relatable application. You’ll hear specific techniques for organizing your thoughts under pressure, using storytelling to make data memorable, and adjusting your communication style for different audiences. This isn’t about abstract concepts; it’s a resource for anyone who needs to influence, lead, or collaborate more effectively in their career and daily interactions. Tune in to this practical podcast for a regular dose of insights that aim to make your communication more intentional and impactful, one conversation at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
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