20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

Author: Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler November 2, 2025 Duration: 27:32
We have an exciting announcement! Writing Excuses is publishing a book, Now Go Write, which will feature writing from all of our hosts! Sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! So, for our next few episodes, we’ll have each host share one of the topics that they have written a chapter about for the book. Today, we’re starting with Mary Robinette, who will be covering the question of how to handle relationships. We explore how relationships can act like characters themselves—shifting, growing, or breaking under story pressure. Mary Robinette also introduces the “Kowal Relationship Axes” as a way to build believable dynamics and conflict between characters. We hope you come away with practical tools to write relationships that feel real, messy, and full of momentum. Homework: First, sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! Then: who does your character love because of their flaws and why? Write an exploration scene where the character is exhibiting those flaws and the other character is watching that fondly. Then, write a different scene where one character is mad at the other and the flaws are pissing them off. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Call for Writing Breakthroughs Have you had a breakthrough in your writing because of Writing Excuses? If so, we want to hear about it. Fill out this Writing Breakthroughs Google Form for a chance to be featured in a WX Newsletter! Last Annual Cruise The final WXR cruise sets sail for Alaska in September 2026—don’t miss your chance to be part of it. Learn more and sign up here. Credits: Your hosts for this episode were Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, and Erin Roberts. It was produced by Emma Reynolds, recorded by Marshall Carr, Jr., and mastered by Alex Jackson. Join Our Writing Community! Writing Retreats Newsletter Patreon Instagram Threads Bluesky TikTok YouTube Facebook Our Sponsors: * Check out HomeServe and use my code homeserve.com/excuses for a great deal: https://www.homeserve.com * Check out Talkiatry and use my code Talkiatry.com/WX for a great deal: https://www.talkiatry.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/writing-excuses2130/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s a common piece of advice: if you want to be a writer, you should write. But what happens when you’re staring at the blank page, or when the business side of publishing feels like a maze? That’s where Writing Excuses comes in. Each week, hosts Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler gather not just to talk about writing, but to dissect it. They move quickly, respecting your time while packing episodes with actionable discussions on technique, from character voice to plot structure. But this podcast understands that a writing life isn’t just about craft-it’s also a career. So conversations naturally pivot to the practicalities of the business, navigating careers, and sustaining creativity in a demanding field. You’ll hear five distinct professional perspectives blending into a single, focused conversation designed to get you past excuses and back to your work. It’s like a regular, invigorating workshop session delivered directly to you, meant to equip you with tools for both your manuscript and your professional path.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 500

Writing Excuses
Podcast Episodes
21.23: Barrier Breaking: Interruptions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:38
In this episode, our hosts explore one of the most persistent barriers to writing: interruptions. From family members and pets to emails, meetings, fatigue, and neurodivergence, they discuss how disruptions can derail cr…
21.22: The Order of the Telling [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:20
*Time-Sensitive* Our final WXR cruise is almost sold out, grab your spot before June 4th, 2026 here! This week, we are talking about the order in which we present information to the reader as contrasted with the order, i…
21.21: Rhythm and Words [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:34
*Time-Sensitive* Our final WXR cruise is almost sold out, grab your spot before June 4th, 2026 here! Today, we’re continuing the conversation on sequencing by focusing on rhythm—how the musicality of language shapes paci…
21.20: Sequencing from Mega to Micro [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:51
Today, we explore why writers place information in the order they do. From broad-to-narrow framing and cause-and-effect to repetition, rhythm, and surprise, we discuss how sequencing shapes the pacing, emotion, and clari…
21.19: Getting Everything Connected [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:21
Today, our hosts discuss how to make every part of your story feel connected through causal chains, thematic resonance, and reader pattern recognition. We take the idea that each action in a story should lead naturally t…
21.18: Deconstructing the Three Act Structure [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:22
Today, we are joined by Margaret Dunlap as we dive into the three-act structure. This traditional framework—setup, confrontation, and resolution—is a tool to use rather than a formula to follow. We break down each act, e…
21.17: The Up and Down Escalators [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:16
Today we zoom out from moment-to-moment tension and look at how escalation and de-escalation shape a story at the structural level—how raising stakes, lowering pressure, and shifting focus can control pacing, reader emot…
21.16: Tension and Release as Call and Response [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:19
Today, we’re talking about tension and release as a kind of call and response, and how that dynamic can guide your reader through a story. It explores how different types of tension—conflict, unanswered questions, antici…
21.15: Using Contrast for Maximum Effect [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:28
Today, we’re talking about how to use contrast to make key moments in your story hit harder, especially in the middle. We explore how pairing light and dark beats, shifting expectations, or placing opposing elements side…
21.14: Because at First, They Don’t Succeed [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:21
Today, we’re talking about the “try-fail cycle” and why failure is essential to making the middle of your story actually interesting. It allows readers to follow characters as they try something, fail, adjust, and try ag…