Why We Avoid Conversations That Would Make Us Happier

Why We Avoid Conversations That Would Make Us Happier

Author: Pushkin Industries May 12, 2026 Duration: 45:47

We often avoid social interactions out of fear that others don’t want to engage with us. But social psychologist Nick Epley says that fear is misplaced. Today, Nick joins Maya to talk about why we’re missing out on positive connections that could enrich our lives, and how we can fix this. 

Check out Nick’s new book, “A Little More Social.” 

If you enjoyed our conversation with Nick, check out our episode with Vanessa Bohns, “You Have More Influence Than You Think.”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.


Life has a way of rewriting our scripts, often when we least expect it. A Slight Change of Plans, from Pushkin Industries, sits with that universal truth through conversations that feel both intimate and expansive. Hosted by cognitive scientist Dr. Maya Shankar, the podcast is shaped by her own pivotal shift-a violin career ended by injury, which led her to professionally examine how we process transformation. Each episode moves beyond theory, featuring deeply personal stories from a wide range of guests who share their own encounters with upheaval. What you’ll hear isn’t just about resilience, but the nuanced science and practical strategies that can help anyone navigate a redirected path. It’s this thoughtful blend of human experience and grounded research that earned the series Apple Podcasts’ Best Show of the Year. Listening feels like gaining a wiser friend, one who helps you reframe life’s unexpected turns not as disasters, but as complex chapters in a continuing story. The podcast ultimately explores how our identities adapt, how we find meaning, and how even the most disruptive changes can lead to growth we never planned for.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

A Slight Change of Plans
Podcast Episodes
Best Of: Wired for Change [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:11
The story of John Elder Robison is one of Maya’s favorite episodes and it’s also a top choice in our listener favorites series. John is a gifted sound engineer whose rare ability to understand machines propelled him to w…
Best Of: Amanda Knox Wants Us to Move On [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:26
For our listener favorites series, many of you mentioned Amanda Knox’s story. She was just 20 years old when she was found guilty of a crime she did not commit — the murder of her roommate. Amanda spent four years in an…
Best Of: The Science of Regret [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:31
Next in our listeners’ favorite series: Author Daniel Pink teaches us how to transform our relationship with regret so that we can live happier, more fulfilling lives. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check…
Best Of: A Black Musician Takes on the KKK [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:02
We’re revisiting some of our listeners’ favorite episodes this summer. We kick off the series with our first ever episode: A conversation with the Black jazz musician Daryl Davis. During a performance, a member of the KK…
Maya's TED Talk is Out Today! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:15
Maya was invited to speak at TED's annual conference in Vancouver this year - and her talk is available to watch today! It's called "Why Change is So Scary---and How You Can Unlock its Potential" and you can check it out…
A Neuroscientist’s Curious Approach to Dying [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:57
At age 59, neuroscientist David Linden received a startling diagnosis of heart cancer. Even in the face of a terminal illness, David is continuing to think like a scientist. He shares what he's learned from watching his…
For the Love of Pizza [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:11
Long before Scott Wiener was the founder of a popular pizza tour company, he was just a guy who really loved to eat pizza. He talks with Maya about how he turned his unabashed enthusiasm into a mini empire. P.S. Stick ar…
The Science of Self-Compassion [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:15
Self-compassion isn't selfish, says psychologist Kristin Neff, a pioneer in research on the topic. Kristin busts cultural myths about self-compassion, such as the idea that it makes us lazy or self-indulgent, and explain…
A Meditation Scientist Changes My Mind [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:33
After a life-changing experience in India, Dr. Richie Davidson tried to convince his Harvard professors to let him study the science of meditation. No one took him seriously. Half a century later, Richie has measured the…

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