Why We Avoid Conversations That Would Make Us Happier

Why We Avoid Conversations That Would Make Us Happier

Author: Pushkin Industries May 12, 2026 Duration: 45:47

We often avoid social interactions out of fear that others don’t want to engage with us. But social psychologist Nick Epley says that fear is misplaced. Today, Nick joins Maya to talk about why we’re missing out on positive connections that could enrich our lives, and how we can fix this. 

Check out Nick’s new book, “A Little More Social.” 

If you enjoyed our conversation with Nick, check out our episode with Vanessa Bohns, “You Have More Influence Than You Think.”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.


Life has a way of rewriting our scripts, often when we least expect it. A Slight Change of Plans, from Pushkin Industries, sits with that universal truth through conversations that feel both intimate and expansive. Hosted by cognitive scientist Dr. Maya Shankar, the podcast is shaped by her own pivotal shift-a violin career ended by injury, which led her to professionally examine how we process transformation. Each episode moves beyond theory, featuring deeply personal stories from a wide range of guests who share their own encounters with upheaval. What you’ll hear isn’t just about resilience, but the nuanced science and practical strategies that can help anyone navigate a redirected path. It’s this thoughtful blend of human experience and grounded research that earned the series Apple Podcasts’ Best Show of the Year. Listening feels like gaining a wiser friend, one who helps you reframe life’s unexpected turns not as disasters, but as complex chapters in a continuing story. The podcast ultimately explores how our identities adapt, how we find meaning, and how even the most disruptive changes can lead to growth we never planned for.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

A Slight Change of Plans
Podcast Episodes
Rethinking Ambition [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:34
For many years, writer Jennifer Romolini prided herself on her work ethic. She climbed to the top of every corporate ladder and worked 60 hours or more every week. But after an unexpected health crisis, Jennifer realized…
The Story of a Smile [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:38
Soon after giving birth, writer Sarah Ruhl developed a severe case of facial paralysis. The left side of her face drooped, she couldn’t blink or raise her eyebrows, and she could no longer smile. Sarah shares what it was…
Maya’s Slight Change of Plans, Revisited [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:24
A few years ago, Maya experienced a heartbreaking change in her personal life, while on her way to trying to become a mom. Two days after it happened, she felt the need to process it out loud, like so many of her guests…
A Rock Climber's Brush with Death [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:59
Tommy Caldwell’s near-death experience unlocks a completely new state of mind that propels him to become a record-setting big wall climber. We'll be back with new episodes in your feed later this fall, but in the meantim…
Cynicism is Exhausting. There’s an Alternative. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:49
Psychologist Jamil Zaki studies the science of human connection and he believes cynicism is holding us back. Cynicism isn't just harmful for our health, he says, it’s also misguided. He talks to Maya about a powerful, al…
The Grief of Empty Nesting with Kelly Corrigan [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 45:41
Sometimes, even when things go precisely as you hoped they would, change hurts. Writer Kelly Corrigan talks to Maya about wrestling with the reality that her daughters' childhood was ending, and that her role as their pa…
Olympian Gabby Thomas On Choosing Happiness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:31
U.S. track star Gabby Thomas recently won three gold medals at the Paris Olympics. To celebrate, we’re sharing Maya’s conversation with Gabby that took place shortly after the athlete’s Olympic debut in Tokyo. Gabby expl…
Part 2: A Million Little Losses [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:08
Just a few days after Kelsie first talked with Maya for the podcast, Kelsie's husband, Chris, was rushed to the hospital after he didn’t wake up from a nap. He died a few days later, as a result of complications from ALS…
Part 1: A Million Little Losses [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:06
When Kelsie first met her co-worker Chris, she fell hard. They soon fell in love, got married, and had two kids. But then, Chris received a devastating diagnosis. In conversation with Maya, writer Kelsie Snow explores th…
A Novel Approach to Treating Chronic Pain [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:10
A lot of chronic pain isn't actually caused by structural issues with the body, says psychotherapist Alan Gordon. Instead, it's often the brain misinterpreting safe bodily signals as dangerous. Alan joins Maya to explain…