354: What’s it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder? (Pt. 1) Ft. Setareh Vatan

If you've ever been with an emotionally volatile partner or perhaps suspected that you yourself might be emotionally volatile, you hopefully already know about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). (And if you haven't, we have lots of episodes on the subject!)

Here, we talk to a therapist whose clientele is largely comprised of those contending with BPD. What's it like to be a therapist who works with clients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? What are some of the big challenges and greatest rewards?

"Can BPD be treated?" "Is it possible to recover from BPD?" "How does therapy work when it comes to BPD?" are a few common questions -- all of which we address.

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "Then I will see the ‘flip’ take place."
• "There can be this, ‘How dare you?’ response — or, ‘Are you saying I’m bad?’"
• "Ideally I’m asking people to talk about it instead of acting it out."
• "The treatment takes place in the relational field between us (client and practitioner)."
• "I’m inviting people to communicate instead of act out their hurt or distress."
• "The core feature is the fear of abandonment … being left or rejected."
• "There can be chronic feelings of emptiness that people describe (which can be related to a lack of sense of self)."
• "Partners will often talk about the intense anger outbursts."
• "The hallmark defense mechanism is splitting, which is seeing people or situations as all good or all bad."
• "No one is there for me and no one will ever be there for me. Everyone lets me down. I desperately want to be taken care of, but I can’t trust anyone to take care of me."
• "Over and over again, there is going to be rupture and repair, which is the experience that this person did not have early on."

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Mentioned on this episode:

• Setareh Vatan's Psychology Today profile
• RBeyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Paperback – edited by Gunderson & Hoffman
• Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder – by Rachel Reiland