364: What exactly is complex PTSD, and how do you know if you have it? (ft. Setareh Vatan)

Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did?

• You've held beliefs like, "I must be broken," or, "The world is completely dangerous."
• You constantly tested your partner's loyalty
• You've thought things like, "I'm too much and my needs are too much."
• You've played out patterns to the effect of: "If I meet your needs perfectly, maybe you won’t hurt me or leave me."
• You've experienced health issues like chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, or chronic fatigue
• You've alternated between pushing others away or clinging tightly
• You feel confused about your relationship issues because when looking back on your childhood you've thought, "No one overly abused me, so why is this happening?"

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If so, you may be dealing with complex PTSD, also known as C-PTSD. Here we delve into what C-PTSD is, what it's not, and what to do about it.

We also discuss the reality that trauma is intergenerational by nature. If your parents or their parents didn't get what they needed, and if those folks don't do their healing work, they're extremely likely to pass it on. But you don't have to.

Whether you're coming with anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant attachment, or somewhere in between, know this: Healing is ALWAYS possible.

Work with us

Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Mentioned on this episode:

• Setareh's Psychology Today profile

Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "Developmental trauma can shape personality development."
• "They may deeply crave closeness while simultaneously fearing it."
• "This is the nervous system interpreting current stress as old danger."
• "Intimacy may be disrupted by this internal sense of danger that is hard to name."
• "Relationships can be a powerful source of repair."
• "Safe relationships can help reestablish trust, soften defenses, and over a period of time can support emotional regulation."
• "The body often holds what the mind cannot express."
• "It’s often intergenerational trauma playing out."
• "Trauma is both individual and collective."
• "Healing is absolutely possible. I have seen it!"