What The Future Holds

What The Future Holds

Author: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella & Studio71 & Confetti Cannon May 20, 2026 Duration: 1:08:45
This week, we're looking into the future for a greater understanding of Andrew's future husband: Carmine. Amplify your Sapphic Pride event - Shoot your shot⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠!  Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/goodchildrenpod instagram.com/joehegyes instagram.com/andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: tiktok.com/goodchildrenpod tiktok.com/andrewmusky tiktok.com/bequietjoe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good Children is a comedy podcast hosted by childhood best friends Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella. It’s a conversation born from a shared past of trying to be perfect, of chasing approval and gold stars, and now navigating the weird, often hilarious fallout of that upbringing. Each episode feels like pulling up a chair between two friends who are finally letting their guard down, unpacking the anxieties and performative habits that stick around long after the report cards are gone. They talk about the mundane pressures of adult life-the instinct to suck in your stomach, both literally and metaphorically-with a warmth and humor that comes from decades of knowing each other’s secrets. This isn’t a lecture on self-improvement; it’s a weekly, laugh-filled excavation of what it means to have been a “good” kid and the messy, ongoing work of figuring out who you are after that. Produced in collaboration with Studio71 and Confetti Cannon, the podcast finds comedy in the relatable tension between who we were raised to be and the people we actually are, one candid, meandering conversation at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Good Children
Podcast Episodes
Why Is Spending The Night So Scary? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:19:53
Today the boys discuss the timeless hell that is a sleepover. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodch…
Getting Naked With Your Best Friend [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:18:45
Happy Nude Year! After a life-changing three day visit to a Korean Spa in Los Angeles, the boys discuss the complications of being in touch with their own bodies, with stories from middle school to Melbourne, Australia.…
DO NOT HIRE A GRINCH IMPERSONATOR [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:56
Merry Christmas to AWLL! Today Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch work it out on the remix before Joe and Andrew dive into their storied history with The Grinch. From elaborately themed experiential walkthroughs at summer camp…
Ilana Glazer on Long Island, Weed, Motherhood, & Broad City [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06:17
Today we're joined by the icon who made this podcast possible: Ilana Glazer. We discuss growing up on Long Island, weed-induced anxiety attacks, motherhood, working with your best friend, and Ilana's latest project; "Hum…
Why Does Santa Punish Us? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:14:31
Is it ethical to raise children under the threat of Santa Claus? Today we join Buddy the Elf and Santa Claws himself for a discussion on Santa Claus... the good.. the bad.. and the freaks! Go to ROCKETRX.COM and enter co…
Are Christmas Carolers Okay? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:17:47
WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/50goodchildren and use code 50goodchildren to get 50% off your fi…
The Perks of Touching Grass [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:22:43
WE'RE GOING ON TOUR! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets here! Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every Thursday night! 🏕️ GIVEAWAY ALERT! 🏕️This week, we’re taking you along on our getaway to Postcard Cabins…
Thanksgiving When You're Gay and Italian and In Your 20s [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:19:39
WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! Today Joe explains why fish are birds, we discuss Thanksgiving as a concept, and the boys ideate on a new ice cream flavor that will change the traje…
Do Gays Need Gay Friends? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:08:49
WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!! Chicago, Indianapolis, and Madison tickets HERE! For a bonus episode every Friday plus access to 100+ extra episodes, join us on Patreon for $7 a month! RECORDED PRE-ELECTION: Today we discuss the t…
Our Friendship Was Over [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:10:26
An early release for some much needed distraction right about now