I was training for the Olympics and my abuser won Coach of the Year - Debbie

I was training for the Olympics and my abuser won Coach of the Year - Debbie

Author: Leah Carey January 21, 2021 Duration: 54:21

Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women's sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.

Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female.  She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal.  She describes her body as average.

 

  • Debbie's first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice.
  • She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group.
  • Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage.
  • Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful.
  • Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas.
  • She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible.
  • After they separate, Debbie's husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way.
  • Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal.

 

Update: 
Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak

 


Leah Carey's Good Girls Talk About Sex is built on a simple, powerful premise: honest, unfiltered conversation. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Leah guides discussions that feel less like interviews and more like the kind of intimate, revealing talk you'd share with a close friend. Each episode features women from an incredibly wide spectrum of life-differing in size, shape, age, orientation, and cultural or religious background. The stories include those from people raised as girls and transgender women, exploring a full range of relationship structures and levels of kink. What you'll hear are personal narratives about sexuality that are often left unspoken, shared without judgment. This podcast moves beyond theory into the lived, human experience, creating a rare space where complexity is welcomed and authenticity is the only rule. Tuning in means listening to voices that are frequently marginalized, finding common ground in unexpected places, and perhaps understanding your own story a little better through the generous sharing of others.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Good Girls Talk About Sex
Podcast Episodes
Renovating my innards & podcast announcement - Leah speaks [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:33
Leah provides an update on her health journey after two surgeries within four weeks of each other (earlier updates are here and here.) Plus: BIG news about changes coming to the podcast! Full show notes: www.goodgirlstal…
I want to be pushed against the wall - Ar Blia (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:26
In this replay of our landmark 100th episode, Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate fo…
Why would someone be attracted to me? - Life After Diets [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:11:12
A few months back, I was pleased to be a guest on the Life After Diets podcast with Sarah Dosanjh and Stefanie Michele. They have kindly allowed me to share that episode with you - and it's a great one! We focus on how b…
Am I queer? – Coaching session with Caitlin (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:54
When Caitlin left her marriage, she found herself exploring sex as a single woman and discovering new interests. Through coaching with Leah, she admitted to herself that she might be interested in queer sex. This led to…
Things didn't go as expected - Update from Leah [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:51
Leah provides an update to her health journey. When last we spoke, Leah was preparing for a hysterectomy surgery. However, when her surgeon had her on the operating table, he discovered that he couldn't do the hysterecto…
I had anxiety about touching myself - Chandra (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:15:43
Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for wom…
I had sex at 13 so I wouldn't lose him - Yami (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:26
Yami grew up in the Dominican Republic and the United States and there was no conversation in her family about sex. After lots of hard experiences as a teen, she is now involved with a man who is dedicated to her pleasur…
I sucked his tongue like a lollipop - Liz (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:56
When it came to exploring her sexuality, Liz took her time – while all her friends were gossiping about their boyfriends and hookups as teenagers, Liz knew she wasn't ready to lose control. As a single woman, she now has…
I feel better when I'm naked - This Is Not About Your Body [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:23:02
In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Jessi Kneeland on the This Is Not About Your Body podcast about how body image and sexuality intersect; body image in partnership; advocating for your own needs; and much m…
I like to be choked and have my hair pulled - Candi (replay) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 58:43
Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it's like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up ab…