I was training for the Olympics and my abuser won Coach of the Year - Debbie

I was training for the Olympics and my abuser won Coach of the Year - Debbie

Author: Leah Carey January 21, 2021 Duration: 54:21

Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women's sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.

Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female.  She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal.  She describes her body as average.

 

  • Debbie's first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice.
  • She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group.
  • Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage.
  • Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful.
  • Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas.
  • She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible.
  • After they separate, Debbie's husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way.
  • Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal.

 

Update: 
Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak

 


Leah Carey's Good Girls Talk About Sex is built on a simple, powerful premise: honest, unfiltered conversation. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Leah guides discussions that feel less like interviews and more like the kind of intimate, revealing talk you'd share with a close friend. Each episode features women from an incredibly wide spectrum of life-differing in size, shape, age, orientation, and cultural or religious background. The stories include those from people raised as girls and transgender women, exploring a full range of relationship structures and levels of kink. What you'll hear are personal narratives about sexuality that are often left unspoken, shared without judgment. This podcast moves beyond theory into the lived, human experience, creating a rare space where complexity is welcomed and authenticity is the only rule. Tuning in means listening to voices that are frequently marginalized, finding common ground in unexpected places, and perhaps understanding your own story a little better through the generous sharing of others.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Good Girls Talk About Sex
Podcast Episodes
I wanted to lose my virginity so I'd stop feeling behind - Alice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:59
Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don't even know who you want to date? When you're on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relation…
I want to explore anal - Julia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28:29
How do you know you're queer if you don't even know that's an option? It's hard to imagine what we can't see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to…
I prayed my husband would die so I could have sex again - Gabby [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:58:19
What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby.…
I like a little pain – Joy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:19:15
Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out "water sports." She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociatio…
I married a man who stopped wanting me after I said "I do" - Brenda [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:35:50
Brenda grew up in a "sex silent" household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went thro…
I watched porn on the school bus – Kay [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:20:20
Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they're the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves al…
I had a lot of pain during intercourse – Caz [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:14
Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navi…
I thought my attractions were sinful - Tori [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 56:07
Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn't want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure do…
I was dating while pregnant - Tammy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:31:43
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dange…
I want be pushed against the wall – Ar Blia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:15
It's our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure…