How to stop saying “yes” when you mean “no”, with Natalie Lue

How to stop saying “yes” when you mean “no”, with Natalie Lue

Author: Fearne Cotton June 16, 2025 Duration: 1:02:38

Who would you choose to be if you weren’t shit scared about what other people might think about you? Writer and speaker Natalie Lue has noticed that people pleasing is often a response to anxiety.


In this chat with Fearne, Natalie explains how when you desperately people please, you’re putting your self-esteem on the chopping block. In becoming disassociated from your “no” you become disassociated from your needs, desires, opinions, and limits.


Natalie talks through the five ways people pleasing might show up in your life, including ‘efforting’ (e.g. over-achieving at school and work), and ‘saving’ through trying to fix other people’s problems. Plus, a word of warning that pushing past your mental and emotional limits can lead to physical health issues.


Natalie’s book, The Joy of Saying No, is out now.


If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:


Saying No: More Boundaries, Less People Pleasing


The Good Girl Rebellion


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In a world that often feels loud and demanding, Happy Place offers a different kind of conversation. Here, Fearne Cotton sits down with a wide range of fascinating people-from artists and athletes to experts and everyday heroes-to explore the nuanced realities of human experience. These discussions gently peel back the layers on topics like mental resilience, physical well-being, cultural shifts, and the complexities of our relationships, moving far beyond simple soundbites. The core of this podcast lies in its authentic curiosity about how individuals navigate life's inevitable highs and lows. Rather than prescribing a single path to joy, each episode uncovers personal definitions of contentment and peace, often found in unexpected moments or hard-won perspectives. Listening feels like being part of a thoughtful, intimate dialogue where vulnerability is welcomed and stories are shared without pretense. Whether the conversation touches on overcoming loss, finding creative inspiration, or building a healthier society, Fearne guides it with empathy and a genuine desire to understand. This collection of interviews provides a quiet space for reflection, reminding us that happiness is not a constant state but a deeply personal and evolving journey. Tune in for a sincere exploration of what it means to live fully across all facets of life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

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