The False Self: A Tragic Survival Strategy

The False Self: A Tragic Survival Strategy

Author: Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D. December 22, 2024 Duration: 20:55
In this episode, Dr. Ettensohn explores the insights of Alice Miller regarding  emotional abandonment and narcissistic use of the child, focusing on how these early dynamics shape pathological narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Drawing from Miller’s groundbreaking work, Dr. Ettensohn examines how a child growing up in a narcissogenic environment learns to adapt by creating a false self—a facade designed to secure love and avoid rejection in a world where their authentic self is not welcome. The episode explores the function of grandiosity as a defense mechanism—an unconscious strategy to deny the pain of unmet emotional needs—and its counterpart, depression (narcissistic vulnerability), which turns the pain inward. Both defenses serve to protect the individual from confronting a devastating loss: the realization that the love and support they needed was not available. The episode offers a compassionate exploration of how this tragic loss gives rise to the false self, a defense that becomes both a survival strategy and a prison. Through relatable metaphors and clinical insight, Dr. Ettensohn describes the psychological toll of living behind this mask and the challenges of reconnecting with the buried authentic self. Though the loss cannot be undone, healing is possible. By grieving the past and clearing away the defenses, it is possible to rediscover the vibrant, authentic self that has always been there, waiting to emerge. References: Miller, A. (1979) Depression and Grandiosity as Related Forms of Narcissistic Disturbances. International Review of Psychoanalysis 6:61-76 Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8   VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org

In Heal NPD, clinical psychologist Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D., offers a nuanced and compassionate exploration of narcissism, moving beyond simplistic labels to examine the underlying psychological structures. This podcast delves into the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder and related traits, providing clarity for those who recognize these patterns in themselves or in their relationships. Dr. Ettensohn draws from his specialized therapeutic practice to discuss the origins of narcissistic adaptations, the impact on interpersonal dynamics, and the realistic pathways toward change and healing. Episodes often break down clinical concepts into accessible language, featuring discussions on empathy, identity, shame, and the challenging process of building healthier self-esteem and relational skills. The tone is educational yet deeply human, aiming to reduce stigma and foster understanding. Whether you are a mental health professional, someone personally affected by NPD, or simply curious about personality psychology, this series provides a rare, expert-guided look into a frequently misunderstood area of human behavior. Tune in for a thoughtful perspective that prioritizes psychological science and the possibility of growth.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 62

Heal NPD
Podcast Episodes
What Narcissism Isn't: Clearing Up the Confusion [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:46
In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn addresses widespread misconceptions about narcissism by clarifying what the term does not mean. Drawing on clinical examples and years of engagement with public discourse, he explore…
Live with Dr. Ettensohn 6-12-25 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:43:04
Join Dr. Mark Ettensohn from Heal NPD for a live broadcast answering questions and responding to viewer comments.
Do Narcissists *Really* Lack Empathy? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:29
What does it mean to say that narcissists lack empathy? In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn challenges the common assumption that low empathy is a fixed trait in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Drawing from ps…
Weekly Insights: Is Narcissism the New Moral Panic? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:15
In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn examines the rise of moral panic within contemporary discourse about narcissism, particularly how popular online narratives have transformed psychological terms into tools of moral j…
The Birth of Sorrow | Part 1: Crossing into Neurotic-Level Narcissism [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:07
Link to episode 1 in this series, on psychotic-level NPD: https://youtu.be/IoxUCbNUJUE Link to episode 2 in this series, on borderline-level NPD: https://youtu.be/Oz-C503q_9Y This is the third episode of a four-episode s…
Weekly Insights: The Myth of Hardwired Narcissism [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:17
In this video, Dr. Ettensohn examines the growing claim that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is almost entirely genetic, offering a critical, clinically grounded reflection on what the current science actually su…
Weekly Insights: Healing Without a Therapist [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:29
In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn shares an adapted preview from his upcoming video on narcissism at the neurotic level of personality organization. He reflects on what it means to move toward psychological integrati…
Weekly Insights: It Feels Real...But It's Not - Grandiosity in NPD [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 9:00
In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn explores the nature of grandiosity in pathological narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), emphasizing that grandiose self-states are distortions that mask underlying…
Weekly Insights: The Hidden Fear Behind NPD - Being Ordinary [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:26
In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn explores the deep existential conflict at the heart of pathological narcissism and NPD: the fear of being ordinary. Drawing from a recent presentation by psychiatrist and psychoanaly…