The False Self: A Tragic Survival Strategy

The False Self: A Tragic Survival Strategy

Author: Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D. December 22, 2024 Duration: 20:55
In this episode, Dr. Ettensohn explores the insights of Alice Miller regarding  emotional abandonment and narcissistic use of the child, focusing on how these early dynamics shape pathological narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Drawing from Miller’s groundbreaking work, Dr. Ettensohn examines how a child growing up in a narcissogenic environment learns to adapt by creating a false self—a facade designed to secure love and avoid rejection in a world where their authentic self is not welcome. The episode explores the function of grandiosity as a defense mechanism—an unconscious strategy to deny the pain of unmet emotional needs—and its counterpart, depression (narcissistic vulnerability), which turns the pain inward. Both defenses serve to protect the individual from confronting a devastating loss: the realization that the love and support they needed was not available. The episode offers a compassionate exploration of how this tragic loss gives rise to the false self, a defense that becomes both a survival strategy and a prison. Through relatable metaphors and clinical insight, Dr. Ettensohn describes the psychological toll of living behind this mask and the challenges of reconnecting with the buried authentic self. Though the loss cannot be undone, healing is possible. By grieving the past and clearing away the defenses, it is possible to rediscover the vibrant, authentic self that has always been there, waiting to emerge. References: Miller, A. (1979) Depression and Grandiosity as Related Forms of Narcissistic Disturbances. International Review of Psychoanalysis 6:61-76 Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8   VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org

In Heal NPD, clinical psychologist Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D., offers a nuanced and compassionate exploration of narcissism, moving beyond simplistic labels to examine the underlying psychological structures. This podcast delves into the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder and related traits, providing clarity for those who recognize these patterns in themselves or in their relationships. Dr. Ettensohn draws from his specialized therapeutic practice to discuss the origins of narcissistic adaptations, the impact on interpersonal dynamics, and the realistic pathways toward change and healing. Episodes often break down clinical concepts into accessible language, featuring discussions on empathy, identity, shame, and the challenging process of building healthier self-esteem and relational skills. The tone is educational yet deeply human, aiming to reduce stigma and foster understanding. Whether you are a mental health professional, someone personally affected by NPD, or simply curious about personality psychology, this series provides a rare, expert-guided look into a frequently misunderstood area of human behavior. Tune in for a thoughtful perspective that prioritizes psychological science and the possibility of growth.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 62

Heal NPD
Podcast Episodes
Are You a Narcissist? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:20
Dr. Ettensohn breaks down the core beliefs, feelings, and perspectives that are characteristic of narcissism, providing examples of how these tend to look at both the mild and severe ends of the narcissism spectrum.