Why you need to learn how to fight in a relationship (w/ Dr. Julie and John Gottman)

Why you need to learn how to fight in a relationship (w/ Dr. Julie and John Gottman)

Author: TED November 10, 2025 Duration: 35:40

“All couples fight. In fact, how they fight in the first three minutes predicts with 96% accuracy not only how the rest of the conversation will go, but how the rest of the relationship will go six years down the road,” says relationship expert Dr. Julie Gottman. Dr. Julie and John Gottman are founders of the Gottman Institute and the Love Lab where they study how to sustain love and health in relationships. They join Chris to discuss why more people now than ever are deciding to go solo, what a healthy end to a conflict looks like, and the 52 questions you should ask your partner before getting married.


This episode is part of a series of bonus videos from "How to Be a Better Human." You can watch the extended video companion on the TED YouTube Channel and the extended interview on the TED Audio Collective YouTube Channel.


Watch

Julie and John answer listeners' questions: https://youtu.be/nJ4RtT0T_BA

Extended interview with Chris: https://youtu.be/CxW0JRAw8bk


Follow

Host: Chris Duffy (Instagram: @chrisiduffy | https://chrisduffycomedy.com/)

Guest: Dr. Julie and John Gottman


Links

Humor Me by Chris Duffy (https://t.ted.com/ZGuYfcL)

https://www.gottman.com/

Instagram: @thegottmaninstitute

YouTube: @TheGottmanInstitute

Linkedin: @the-gottman-institute

TikTok: @thegottmaninstitute


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For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts


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You might find yourself wondering how small shifts in thinking or action could ripple out into your daily life, and that's precisely the space this How to Be a Better Human podcast occupies. Hosted by Chris Duffy, each episode is built from conversations with a range of insightful guests, including past speakers, who share practical wisdom that goes beyond typical advice. The discussions are grounded in real-world application, focusing on how we can all improve in tangible ways-not through grand gestures, but in the nuances of our interactions at work, within our families, and in our own internal dialogues. This isn't about abstract theory; it's about hearing specific stories and strategies that offer clear takeaways you can actually use. The How to Be a Better Human podcast, from TED, digs into those unexpected corners of life where genuine growth happens, exploring how we show up for others and ourselves with more intention. Listeners will find a thoughtful mix of humor, vulnerability, and sharp insights that challenge conventional self-improvement tropes, making the journey toward being better feel accessible and deeply human.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

How to Be a Better Human
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