David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

Author: Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment September 2, 2026 Duration: 52:30
David Sedaris is one of America’s best-loved humorists, famous for turning the absurdities of everyday life into razor-sharp, deeply human essays. He joins Elizabeth Day on How to Fail to talk about the moments that have shaped him: from dropping out of university and ending up in his parents’ basement at 20, to being thrown out by his father and growing up with a parent who seemed to actively invest in his failure. He talks candidly about heartbreak after a breakup at 32, the fear of being alone, grief at losing the people we love and his past crystal meth addiction and sobriety. We also hear about the embarrassment of dropping out of Japanese school in Tokyo at 50…and the possibility of a cameo on The Archers. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:39 How His Writing Evolved 04:27 Train Music Confrontation 07:03 Failure One: Dropping Out 10:38 A Father Rooting Against Him 13:16 Money Promises and Betrayal 18:03 Thrown Out and Self Worth 20:31 Friendship and Grief 23:22 Failure Two: Breakup at 32 27:38 Writing Love And Routine 28:46 Sharon The Practical Mom 33:08 Heartbreak Versus Grief 35:54 Crystal Meth And Fear 38:59 Conceptual Art On Fire 40:24 Tokyo Japanese School Quit 46:08 The Archers Cameo 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: “I just took every bit of advice [my father] ever gave me and did the opposite, and it was a really good strategy.” “Fear kept me drinking. Fear kept me smoking. Fear kept me from leaving.” “You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t work for it.” “Every day is a new beginning.” 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: The Land and Its People by David Sedaris is widely available across both online retailers and physical bookstores in the US and the UK. Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Dawn French - on fertility, friendship and being an anti-perfectionist http://swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT Simon Cowell - on judgement, power and the uncomfortable responsibility of shaping someone’s future http://swap.fm/l/hSwuCNEuZNgnaG20v0yB 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and David answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a quiet revolution happening in how we think about success, and How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is right at the heart of it. This isn't about schadenfreude or wallowing in misfortune. Instead, Elizabeth Day has created a space where the most interesting conversations begin with a simple, radical premise: our lowest moments are often our greatest teachers. Each episode, a guest-from celebrated artists and thinkers to everyday people with extraordinary stories-sits down to examine three significant failures from their own life. The magic lies in the excavation, as Elizabeth guides the discussion toward the unexpected wisdom and resilience that emerged from those setbacks. You'll hear the raw honesty in their voices, the laughter that comes with hindsight, and the profound clarity that failure can uniquely provide. This podcast, presented by Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment, digs into the messy, human stuff of life that connects us all, transforming shared vulnerability into a source of collective strength. It’s a reminder that the path to any meaningful achievement is rarely a straight line, but a series of instructive detours. The show actively invites listeners to reflect on their own stories, fostering a genuine community around the idea that we can all succeed better by understanding where we've previously stumbled. Tune in for conversations that are as comforting as they are challenging, and which might just change your perspective on what it means to live a well-lived life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Podcast Episodes
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Duration: 57:06
Nish Kumar is one of the UK’s best-known comedians, known for his impassioned political progressiveness. You might remember him as the host of the topical BBC comedy show, The Mash Report, which ran to great acclaim unti…
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Duration: 58:23
It was a privilege to have one of my all-time heroes, the feminist activist, writer and icon Gloria Steinem on How to Fail back in 2020 and we are heartbroken to hear of her passing at the age of 92. To celebrate her lif…
Failure Throwback: Mo Gawdat [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:01:47
This episode with Mo Gawdat originally went out in 2019, but its message feels as relevant as ever. We’re re-releasing it to celebrate the 500th episode of How to Fail. Just occasionally, you meet someone who changes the…
Failure Throwback: Phoebe Waller Bridge [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:56
To mark 500 episodes of How to Fail! To we’re re-releasing the first ever episode with Phoebe Waller Bridge, which originally went out in July 2018. Phoebe Waller-Bridge, creator and star of Fleabag, writer of Killing Ev…
Mel Giedroyc - I Lost My Biggest Fan When Mum Died [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 57:45
Mel Giedroyc is a comedian, writer and TV presenter who has been entertaining the nation for over 30 years. Hired in 1996 as a writer for French and Saunders (alongside best friend Sue Perkins), Mel’s career took off and…
Nikita Gill - Everyone Wants to Be Heard But No One Wants to Listen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:39
Before becoming a No. 1 New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most widely read poets on Instagram, Nikita worked as a cleaner and carer while sharing her poetry online. She moved from New Delhi to Britain in…
Miquita Oliver - I Drank Half a Bottle of Wine Every Morning [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 57:19
Miquita Oliver is a podcaster, TV presenter and all-round brilliant woman. She was just 16 when she burst onto our screens co-hosting Channel 4’s cult music show Popworld alongside Simon Amstell. Twenty-five years later,…
Richard Bacon - ‘I Was Betrayed By My Best Friend’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 57:35
What connects Barack Obama, a tabloid sting and Love Islander Alex George? Have a Blue Peter badge if you were thinking of Richard Bacon... While the broadcaster and producer is perhaps best known for the time his Blue P…
Remembering Bonnie Tyler [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:27
It was a privilege to have Bonnie Tyler on How to Fail back in 2024 - and we are heartbroken to hear of her passing today. Bonnie was open, funny and moving when she joined me on How to Fail. Total Eclipse of the Heart m…