David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

David Sedaris - ‘My Father Said I Was A Bad Influence Because I Was Gay’

Author: Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment September 2, 2026 Duration: 52:30
David Sedaris is one of America’s best-loved humorists, famous for turning the absurdities of everyday life into razor-sharp, deeply human essays. He joins Elizabeth Day on How to Fail to talk about the moments that have shaped him: from dropping out of university and ending up in his parents’ basement at 20, to being thrown out by his father and growing up with a parent who seemed to actively invest in his failure. He talks candidly about heartbreak after a breakup at 32, the fear of being alone, grief at losing the people we love and his past crystal meth addiction and sobriety. We also hear about the embarrassment of dropping out of Japanese school in Tokyo at 50…and the possibility of a cameo on The Archers. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:39 How His Writing Evolved 04:27 Train Music Confrontation 07:03 Failure One: Dropping Out 10:38 A Father Rooting Against Him 13:16 Money Promises and Betrayal 18:03 Thrown Out and Self Worth 20:31 Friendship and Grief 23:22 Failure Two: Breakup at 32 27:38 Writing Love And Routine 28:46 Sharon The Practical Mom 33:08 Heartbreak Versus Grief 35:54 Crystal Meth And Fear 38:59 Conceptual Art On Fire 40:24 Tokyo Japanese School Quit 46:08 The Archers Cameo 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: “I just took every bit of advice [my father] ever gave me and did the opposite, and it was a really good strategy.” “Fear kept me drinking. Fear kept me smoking. Fear kept me from leaving.” “You’re never going to get what you want if you don’t work for it.” “Every day is a new beginning.” 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: The Land and Its People by David Sedaris is widely available across both online retailers and physical bookstores in the US and the UK. Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Dawn French - on fertility, friendship and being an anti-perfectionist http://swap.fm/l/NJDrzxLKhyi6icOrxmHT Simon Cowell - on judgement, power and the uncomfortable responsibility of shaping someone’s future http://swap.fm/l/hSwuCNEuZNgnaG20v0yB 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and David answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a quiet revolution happening in how we think about success, and How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is right at the heart of it. This isn't about schadenfreude or wallowing in misfortune. Instead, Elizabeth Day has created a space where the most interesting conversations begin with a simple, radical premise: our lowest moments are often our greatest teachers. Each episode, a guest-from celebrated artists and thinkers to everyday people with extraordinary stories-sits down to examine three significant failures from their own life. The magic lies in the excavation, as Elizabeth guides the discussion toward the unexpected wisdom and resilience that emerged from those setbacks. You'll hear the raw honesty in their voices, the laughter that comes with hindsight, and the profound clarity that failure can uniquely provide. This podcast, presented by Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment, digs into the messy, human stuff of life that connects us all, transforming shared vulnerability into a source of collective strength. It’s a reminder that the path to any meaningful achievement is rarely a straight line, but a series of instructive detours. The show actively invites listeners to reflect on their own stories, fostering a genuine community around the idea that we can all succeed better by understanding where we've previously stumbled. Tune in for conversations that are as comforting as they are challenging, and which might just change your perspective on what it means to live a well-lived life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Podcast Episodes
ON FAMILY DYNAMICS… With Bella Freud and Danny Dyer [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:48
Families are fascinating: how those first bonds shape our understanding of love, security and ourselves. In this episode, we revisit episodes with Bella Freud and Danny Dyer, who each open up about the simultaneous beaut…
Mo Gilligan - Fatherhood Is A Gift I Didn’t Know I Needed [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:12
Mo Gilligan started out working in retail (think Jo Malone and Levi’s) but quit in 2018 when his online comedy videos went viral. The leap paid off - sell-out tours across the UK, a late-night entertainment show on Chann…
ON FINDING LOVE AT ANY AGE… With Luke Evans and Dolly Alderton [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:20
We’re taught that love should happen early, and if it doesn’t, something’s gone wrong. But what if that’s not true? In this episode, we hear from past How to Fail guests who found love later, or in their own time. Luke E…
Shabaz Ali - ‘I’ll be a diversity quota as long as I get paid’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:02
A few years ago, Shabaz Ali was a chemistry teacher in Blackburn. Today, he’s one of the internet’s most beloved creators, best known as Shabaz Says, with millions of fans and a knack for skewering the most outrageous (a…
ON FINDING HOPE IN ADVERSITY… With Sir Chris Hoy and Michael Rosen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:44
This week we’re revisiting two deeply moving conversations that explore what it means to find hope in the face of profound adversity. First, we hear from the 11-time world champion and a six-time Olympic champion, Sir Ch…
ON THE IMPACT OF EARLY FAME… With Shania Twain and Charlotte Church [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:09
Fame isn’t always limousines, five star hotels, champagne and private jets. I find this topic totally fascinating and these two past How to Fail guests give us a glimpse behind the curtain as to what becoming famous at a…
Martin Freeman - ‘We should be saying no to our kids’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 53:44
Martin Freeman is one of the most sought-after actors of his generation. Whether it’s Tim in The Office, John - the mild-mannered porn actor in Love Actually, Watson in Sherlock, Bilbo in The Hobbit, the stressed parent…
ON PANIC ATTACKS… With Jamie Laing and Fearne Cotton [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:51
Panic attacks are wide-spread in today’s society, and yet remain something we rarely talk about openly. So it’s vital that we normalise an experience so many of us share - because talking about it is often the first step…