My Awkward First Year in Denmark

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

Author: Kay Xander Mellish April 29, 2026 Duration: 9:16

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

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This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
The Trailing Spouse in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:43
If you're coming from abroad to work in Denmark, you may be bringing along your spouse. That can be great – it's nice to have someone to shiver through the Danish summer with. But unhappy spouses are one of the main reas…
Why job titles aren't important in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:41
One of the most important words in the Danish language is "ligestilling" – equality. The belief that all (Danish) people are basically equal permeates every relationship and every interaction. Fancy job titles do not fit…
Danish union vs A-kasse: What's the difference? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:43
When you first arrive in Denmark to work or look for work, the last thing you need is another monthly expense. So many foreigners "save money" by not joining a union. And I was one of them. To be honest, joining a union…
The Danish art of taking time off [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:52
When I first began working in Denmark, people used to start saying around April or May, "So – are you taking three or four?" What they meant was, are you taking three or four weeks off for your summer vacation? Now, in t…
The Danish job interview [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:08
If you've been asked for a job interview at a Danish company, congratulations. Danish companies don't like to waste time, so they wouldn't be setting aside time to meet you if they didn't think there was a solid chance t…