My Awkward First Year in Denmark

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

Author: Kay Xander Mellish April 29, 2026 Duration: 9:16

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

-------

This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
On the Road: Copenhagen Northwest, beyond the cherry trees [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:36
It's springtime, and the cherry trees are about to bloom in Copenhagen Northwest, which is usually the only time people who live outside Northwest bother to go there. Northwest is a working class neighborhood, so much so…
The Secret Strategy for Practicing Spoken Danish [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:08
Newcomers to Denmark often complain that the locals aren't chatty. Danes don't want to converse on the bus, or on the train, or in line at the supermarket, or really anyplace that isn't a designated social zone. Like the…
Queen Margrethe, Denmark's good-humored, much-loved monarch [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:00
No matter how they feel about the institution of royalty, almost everyone likes Denmark's Queen Margrethe, who is celebrating 50 years on the throne this week. Every New Year's Eve, the streets of Denmark go quiet as the…
The Non-Drinkers' Guide to Danish Christmas parties [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:03
Drinking, and drinking heavily, is common in Denmark at holiday time. Whether it's the traditional "gløgg" - hot spiced wine with nuts, orange peel and a little brandy - or the specially-made (and specially-strong) Chris…
Denmark's Big and Wonderful Second Hand Economy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:13
Denmark has a thriving second-hand economy, in part because people generally don't look down on second-hand goods here. The Danes are practical people – why should something be thrown out when it can be used again? And t…
On the Road: The Tunnel to Germany [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:54
Getting to Sweden from Copenhagen is easy: you take a quick trip across the Øresund Bridge in your car or on the train. Getting to Norway from Copenhagen isn't too hard: there's a ferry that runs every day from Nordhavn.…
On the Road: Riding Copenhagen's big yellow "Harbor Bus" ferry [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:06
One of Denmark's cheapest and most colorful vacations is a few hours riding back and forth on Copenhagen's big yellow Harbor Bus, or "Havnebussen", a commuter ferry designed to transport ordinary citizens between downtow…
On the Road in Denmark: Esbjerg, Ribe, and Fanø [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:46
When I mentioned going to Esbjerg for a few days off this spring, many of my friends in Copenhagen said - why? Esbjerg doesn't have a reputation as a vacation spot, even though its fifth-largest city in Denmark and the y…
Saving money in Denmark: How to get around for less [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:29
No matter what the tourist brochures suggest, you probably won't go *everywhere* on a bike in Denmark. And along with food and housing, getting around is a big part of the cost of living in Denmark. Here are a few tips t…
Saving money on food in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:43
Anyone who has spent time living in Denmark knows that it's one of the most expensive countries around. That's true when it comes to food shopping, too. One Dane who had lived in the US explained it this way: "In Denmark…