My Awkward First Year in Denmark

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

Author: Kay Xander Mellish April 29, 2026 Duration: 9:16

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

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This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
How to Meet a Dead Viking: The Mummies of Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:21
Many people who visit Denmark are fans of the Vikings, the colloquial name for Scandinavians before the medieval era, although technically speaking the Viking raiders were at their peak in the years 800-1100. There are p…
No ice cream in July: Scenes from the Danish summer vacation period [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:23
In Denmark, the right to a long summer vacation is enshrined into law - the national vacation law, which states that all employees have a right to three weeks' vacation between May and September. Shops close, too. An ice…
Rich in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:26
Denmark is a rich country, but does it have rich people? It does, but Denmark's wealthy tend to keep a low profile, due to the informal Jante Law in Denmark that prohibits too much showing off. That said, spring and summ…
What Newcomers to Denmark Ask Me [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:57
When you've been an international in Denmark for a while, as I have, you sometimes forget what it was like to arrive here for the first time and know nothing. I remember arriving just about this time of year and being as…
Denmark and Butter: A Love Story [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:16
The hottest competitive sport in Denmark over the past year hasn't been handball, or football, or badminton. It's been chasing cheap butter in the supermarket. Recent inflation has doubled the price of butter – in some p…
Randers is not a joke [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:51
It seems as if every country has a city or region that it is the butt of jokes. The rest of the country makes fun of the locals' unattractive accents and supposedly low-end behavior. In Denmark, that city is Randers. Ran…
The Bridges of Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:48
A country like Denmark, with so much coastline and water, needs a lot of bridges - and there have been 5 new colorful, stylish bridges built in Copenhagen alone in the past decade. And because this is Denmark, and people…
Ballad of the Danish Royal Teenagers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:39
It's hard to be a teenager no matter who you are or where you live, but spare a thought for the two teenagers of the Danish Royal Family. 16-year-old Christian - the future King Christian XI - and 15-year-old Isabella ha…