My Awkward First Year in Denmark

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

Author: Kay Xander Mellish April 29, 2026 Duration: 9:16

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

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This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
Who is Holger Danske? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:35
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In June of each year, the streets of Denmark are suddenly full of young people wearing stiff white caps with bands of various colors - burgundy, midnight blue, light blue. These teenagers have just graduated from gymnasi…
Do you have to speak Danish to work in Denmark? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:52
If you're only in Denmark for a few months, it might not be worth the investment in time to learn much more than the basic pleasantries in Danish. But you plan to stay in Denmark for more than a year or so, it's a good i…
Why Danes Find Compliments So Awkward [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:12
A story I've heard over and over again when I talk to internationals working in Denmark is this: They thought they were going to get fired. They'd been working for a year or so at professional-level job in Denmark, often…
Romance in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:43
Whether you're navigating the cobbled streets of Copenhagen on a first date, exploring the charming countryside with a new companion, or swiping right in the pursuit of love, this episode offers the inside scoop on Danis…
Finding light in the Danish Winter Darkness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:10
Many internationals newly arrived in Denmark struggle with the long Danish winter. The darkness that starts to fall in the early afternoon means that 5pm looks just like 8pm, which looks just like midnight, which looks j…
New Year's Eve Traditions in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:24
It's almost Week 1, in the weekly numbering system that's widely used in Northern Europe, where the year starts with week 1 and runs through to Week 52 or 53, depending on the calendar. It's very efficient for planning,…
How to Handle a Conflict in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:55
If you are an international who lives in Denmark, or someone who wants to, you have to learn the Danish way of dealing with conflict. This might be with a colleague, or your upstairs neighbors, or the authorities at the…
Drugs in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:45
Denmark is getting rich selling pharmaceuticals to other countries, but within Denmark itself, the approach is inconsistent. Getting illegal drugs doesn't seem to be too difficult, but getting legal drugs from your docto…
Equality and the Electric Bike [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:47
When I first arrived in Denmark, you could shut down any dispute in Denmark by appealing to equality and the common good. Solidarity - "solidaritet" - and "fælleskab", or community, or even "samfundssind", societal spiri…