My Awkward First Year in Denmark

My Awkward First Year in Denmark

Author: Kay Xander Mellish April 29, 2026 Duration: 9:16

One thing no one ever tells you about moving to a new country is the incredible awkwardness of it. As a newcomer, you are constantly doing or saying or planning the wrong thing, something that would be perfectly reasonable in your home culture but is weird or laughable in your new location.

Like eating alone in a restaurant.

Eating alone is no big deal in Manhattan, where I was coming from, and it's also common in Japan, Korea, and Hong Kong, where I had briefly lived. But not in Denmark. 

When I arrived in Denmark 25 years ago, I already had a job, as a content creator for a small tech company. What I didn't have was any friends, or any more than a superficial knowledge of Danish language or culture.

My new colleagues were very pleasant, but like most Danes over 25, they had already built their social networks and weren't really looking for someone to hang out with after work. So I spent most of my free time alone, living temporarily at a small hotel by Peblinge Sø, where I chatted aimlessly with the receptionist (who believed I was in love with him, I later found out). Then I went out to eat by myself at a local restaurant.

Danes generally don't eat alone at restaurants, so after a while I became a familiar figure that the staff called "the hamburger girl" after my standard order.

-------

This episode of the "How to Live in Denmark" podcast is the introduction of my new book, The Danish Year, available exclusively for download on Amazon Kindle. 


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
January, Skiing, and Income Inequality: The Danish Year Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:02
If you're one of the bottom 80% of Danish earners, you'll probably spend most of your dark January evenings and weekends at home, hoping your bank account can recover from Christmas excesses. Restaurants have a lot of em…
The Danish Empire - without Greenland? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:54
Denmark, as Danes like to tell you, is a little country. But it used to be a much bigger country, a bit of an empire. Norway was once part of Denmark. Iceland was once part of Denmark. The southern half of Sweden and a b…
Learning Danish through song lyrics [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:17
One of the tips I often give to newcomers in Denmark is to learn Danish through song lyrics. Find a Danish lyricist whose music you enjoy listening to on repeat. The repetition will help you get a feel for how the Danish…
Job switching in Denmark [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:51
Denmark has one of the highest job mobility rates in the world - about 20% of Danes start new jobs each year. Frequent job changes are a reflection of the Danish concept of "flexicurity" – flexibility with the security o…
The Design Quirks of Copenhagen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 9:12
Did you know that Copenhagen has its own color? It's called Copenhagen Green, and it's a dark emerald green, mixed with a fair amount of black. A little like the dark green we see on the leaves of trees here late in Augu…