Episode Overview
On this episode of the Interview Connections podcast, Jess Rhodes sits down with Caroline Shelby, founder of Grief Clarity Labs and author of Living Beside the Leaving, to explore the profound and often misunderstood experience of anticipatory grief. Caroline shares her deeply personal journey of caring for her mother through a decade of Alzheimer's disease, discovering grief coaching through an unexpected TikTok video, and ultimately transforming her pain into a calling to help others navigate loss. This is a conversation about loss that is also full of laughter, hope, and the realization that joy and sadness can coexist.
Key Takeaways
Anticipatory Grief Is Its Own Experience — The grief that begins before a loss actually happens—when you know someone is going to die but they haven't yet—is uniquely complicated. Caroline spent 10 years watching her mother disappear while still being present, experiencing guilt, exhaustion, and conflicting emotions that support groups at the time rarely addressed.
You Can Be a Safe Stranger — During Alzheimer's progression, Caroline's mother eventually forgot who she was. But Caroline learned to show up as a comforting, secure presence anyway—absorbing the emotional weight while still providing care and compassion.
The "Grief in a Box" Metaphor — When grief first hits, the pain ball bounces constantly against the button in a small box. But as life expands and you heal, the box grows bigger. The ball still hits the button sometimes, but there's room for life to happen around the grief. You don't have to let loss define your entire existence.
Grief Coaching Isn't About Timelines — There's no "right time" to work with a grief coach. The readiness comes when you start wondering if life could look different, when you begin to envision something beyond the loss. Some people are ready in a month; others need a year or more.
Writing as Authority and Healing Can Be the Same Thing — Caroline wrote her book to build authority as a new coach, but it became a profound healing tool. However, she's careful to recommend that clients write only when they're truly ready—not as a forced exercise, but when the time feels right.
Happiness and Sadness Can Coexist — One of Caroline's core messages is that you don't have to choose between grief and joy. Life after loss isn't about "getting over it"—it's about expanding your life so grief becomes one part of your story, not the whole story.
Timestamps & Topics
- 14:44 — Episode intro and Caroline's background
- 15:37-17:52 — Caroline's origin story: caring for her mother through Alzheimer's and discovering grief coaching through TikTok
- 18:12-23:05 — Writing her book Living Beside the Leaving as both authority-building and healing
- 24:45-26:39 — The "grief in a box" metaphor and expanding life around loss
- 27:19-28:17 — When the right time is to work with a grief coach
- 29:04-29:57 — Call to action and how to connect with Caroline
- 30:19-30:55 — Episode wrap-up
About Caroline Shelby
Caroline Shelby is a grief educator, certified grief coach, and founder of Grief Clarity Labs. She specializes in supporting individuals navigating caregiving, anticipatory grief, and life after loss. Her work is rooted in personal experience: she spent more than a decade caring for her mother through Alzheimer's disease and lost both her mother and best friend in 2024. She is the author of Living Beside the Leaving: A Daughter's Story of Alzheimer's, Caregiving, and Loss (published May 2024). Through her coaching, writing, and authentic storytelling, Caroline creates space for honest, often unspoken conversations around grief and helps people feel less alone and better equipped to navigate loss.
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