Lindy West Thought She Couldn’t Handle Polyamory. She Was Wrong.

Lindy West Thought She Couldn’t Handle Polyamory. She Was Wrong.

Author: The New York Times March 4, 2026 Duration: 51:02
When she was growing up, the writer Lindy West was bombarded with negative messages about being fat. The whole world seemed to think she didn’t deserve love unless she lost weight. In her first book, “Shrill,” West wrote about how hard it was to combat fatphobia within herself, in society and on the internet, where she was attacked by some particularly vicious trolls. By the end of the book, West had found confidence in herself. She also got married to the love of her life. Now, West is opening up about a conflict that was built into her marriage from the start: She wanted to be monogamous. Her husband, Aham, did not. To make Aham happy, West agreed that he could see other people, but she was terrified of what would happen to her self-esteem if he ever acted on it. This week on “Modern Love,” West talks about what happened when Aham started seriously dating someone else. Once this new girlfriend entered the picture, it forced West to rethink her feelings about her marriage, and about herself. On the other side of all that tough emotional work, she was surprised to discover a new kind of joy. Lindy West’s latest book, “Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane,” comes out March 10.

For two decades, the Modern Love column in The New York Times has offered a uniquely intimate window into how people navigate relationships, heartbreak, and connection. That same spirit of honest, personal storytelling finds its voice in this weekly podcast, hosted by Anna Martin. Here, the written essays are brought to life, often by notable actors, and expanded upon through Martin’s thoughtful conversations with the authors and other guests. They delve into the aftermath of the published story, exploring what was learned and how lives have unfolded since. You’ll hear about love in its many forms-romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love-across a spectrum of experiences that are by turns heartbreaking, awkward, humorous, and profoundly uplifting. This isn’t about fairytales, but the real, messy, and transformative moments that define us. The Modern Love podcast, from The New York Times, continues that essential tradition of sharing our most vulnerable stories to see our own lives more clearly. New episodes arrive every Wednesday.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Modern Love
Podcast Episodes
How to Fall (and Stay) in Love [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:04
The Modern Love team asked you to share with us the moment you knew you were falling in love, and you delivered. Your stories took us to so many places — dinner dates, subway rides, sunsets, concerts — and showed us the…
He’s Gay. She’s Straight. They’re Newlyweds. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:04
When Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone met, they became instant best friends. Then, even though Jacob was gay, they realized that their feelings for each other were evolving beyond the platonic, and they decided to give…
That Time I Bought My Husband’s Girlfriend a Burial Plot [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:04
When Robin Eileen Bernstein’s almost-ex-husband, Mark, died of a heart attack, she suddenly found herself comforting her husband’s grieving girlfriend. Robin and Mark had been living apart for two years, but legally she…
Neko Case: ‘If I Didn’t Yell the Truth, What Good Was I? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:55
In a new memoir out next week, the singer-songwriter Neko Case shares some painful childhood memories. In the studio with Anna Martin, Case is open and unapologetically angry as she describes being treated like “an unwan…
Hank Azaria’s Advice for Overcoming Codependency [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:10
Hank Azaria is used to putting on other personalities. You probably know him best from his work as a voice actor on “The Simpsons,” where he plays Moe the bartender, Professor Frink, Chief Wiggum and Snake Jailbird, amon…
Finding the Magic, Just in Time [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:53
When Clare Cory was a young girl, she dreamed of love. But by the time she turned 50, Clare hadn’t found it. Still, she took a look around and found she was happy and was looking forward to the future. Clare fell in love…
The Appeal of the Smaller Breasts: From ‘The Daily’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:50
This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, we’re sharing an episode from another New York Times podcast: “The Daily.” For decades, breast augmentations have been one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries in the United Stat…
Your Worst Dates Ever: With Joel Kim Booster [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:55
It felt as if the dating world hit a breaking point this year. With news headlines like “Is Dating a Total Nightmare for You Right Now?” and “Why the Young and the Single Can’t Commit to Dating Apps” appearing frequently…
Dating Apps Suck. A.I. Clones Are Making Them Even Weirder. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:30
Fake profiles. Unresponsive texters. Boring conversations. An endless stream of dudes on boats holding the fish they’ve caught. Talk to single people using dating apps, and they are likely to tell you that the experience…
Three Powerful Lessons About Love (Encore) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:17
When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he called for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years and over a thousand published essays later, Modern Love is a trove of real-life love sto…