Performance-Based Relationships

Performance-Based Relationships

Author: Mark Gregston January 28, 2026 Duration: 14:54

Today, Mark Gregston shares a devotional from Psalm 86:15, exploring how children can grow up believing love must be earned through performance. When parents unknowingly reinforce this, kids begin to fear that failure will cost them acceptance, tying their value to behavior and achievement. Mark reminds parents to model God’s compassion, grace, patience and abounding love so children understand love is unconditional. When kids know they are loved in both their successes and failures, they are freed from fear and able to grow with hope and resilience.

If your teen is struggling, Mark's residential counseling center, Heartlight Ministries, may be the answer. Visit heartlightministries.org to learn more!

Parenting Today's Teens is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit parentingtodayteens.org. 


Raising a teenager can feel like navigating uncharted territory every single day. Parenting Today's Teens is here to walk that path with you, offering a steady voice amid the chaos. Mark Gregston brings more than four decades of direct experience working with families to each conversation, translating complex adolescent behaviors into understandable insights. You’ll hear honest discussions about defiance, screen time, emotional withdrawal, and the search for identity, all framed with a perspective that is both pragmatic and hopeful. This isn’t about quick fixes or perfect formulas; it’s about building a lasting, authentic connection with your teen even when it’s difficult. Mark’s approach is grounded in real-world application, offering strategies you can consider and adapt the very same day. The podcast draws from a well of wisdom that respects the spiritual and personal growth of the entire family, recognizing that parenting a teen often means revisiting your own beliefs and reactions. Tune in for a resource that feels like a thoughtful conversation with a trusted guide, one that acknowledges the struggles while consistently pointing toward practical solutions and renewed understanding for the modern parent.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Parenting Today's Teens
Podcast Episodes
Don’t Panic When Teens Question God [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:11
What should parents do when teens begin questioning faith, church or even God Himself? In this episode, Mark, Wayne and Heartlight Counselor Courtney LaFleur discuss why doubt and questioning are often a normal part of s…
Why Teens Stop Talking to Parents [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:05
Why do some teens shut down? And what can parents do to help them open up again? In this episode, Mark, Wayne and Heartlight Counselor Courtney LaFleur explore why many teens stay silent out of fear, shame, anxiety or fe…
Raising Teens in a World Working Against Them [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:15
Why does parenting teens today feel harder than ever before? In this episode, Mark shares a devotional about raising teens in a culture that often pulls them away from truth, connection and stability. From anxiety and so…
Teen Stories: Longing to Belong [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:57
Every teen craves a sense of belonging — sometimes even more than they realize. In this episode, Mark sits down with two Heartlight residents who share how they faced isolation, family struggles, depression and choices t…
Does Your Teen Need Counseling? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:06
What if counseling could become one of the greatest gifts you give your teen? In this episode, Mark, Wayne and Heartlight Counselor Courtney LaFleur discuss why counseling isn’t just for teens in crisis. Sometimes, a tru…
Raising Financially Responsible Teens [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:54
Are you preparing your teen to handle money — or unintentionally making them dependent on you? In this episode, Mark and Wayne tackle one of the most overlooked life skills: financial responsibility. From entitlement and…
The Damage of Perfectionistic Parenting [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:15
Could your teen feel like they have to be perfect to earn your approval? In this episode, Mark shares a devotional on how well-meaning parents can unintentionally communicate pressure, criticism and impossible expectatio…
Teen Stories: Getting a Fresh Start [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:39
Sometimes, the hardest battles teens face happen silently — loneliness, insecurity and the pressure to escape pain. On this episode, Mark sits down with two Heartlight residents who share how changing their environments…