Performance-Based Relationships

Performance-Based Relationships

Author: Mark Gregston January 28, 2026 Duration: 14:54

Today, Mark Gregston shares a devotional from Psalm 86:15, exploring how children can grow up believing love must be earned through performance. When parents unknowingly reinforce this, kids begin to fear that failure will cost them acceptance, tying their value to behavior and achievement. Mark reminds parents to model God’s compassion, grace, patience and abounding love so children understand love is unconditional. When kids know they are loved in both their successes and failures, they are freed from fear and able to grow with hope and resilience.

If your teen is struggling, Mark's residential counseling center, Heartlight Ministries, may be the answer. Visit heartlightministries.org to learn more!

Parenting Today's Teens is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit parentingtodayteens.org. 


Raising a teenager can feel like navigating uncharted territory every single day. Parenting Today's Teens is here to walk that path with you, offering a steady voice amid the chaos. Mark Gregston brings more than four decades of direct experience working with families to each conversation, translating complex adolescent behaviors into understandable insights. You’ll hear honest discussions about defiance, screen time, emotional withdrawal, and the search for identity, all framed with a perspective that is both pragmatic and hopeful. This isn’t about quick fixes or perfect formulas; it’s about building a lasting, authentic connection with your teen even when it’s difficult. Mark’s approach is grounded in real-world application, offering strategies you can consider and adapt the very same day. The podcast draws from a well of wisdom that respects the spiritual and personal growth of the entire family, recognizing that parenting a teen often means revisiting your own beliefs and reactions. Tune in for a resource that feels like a thoughtful conversation with a trusted guide, one that acknowledges the struggles while consistently pointing toward practical solutions and renewed understanding for the modern parent.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Parenting Today's Teens
Podcast Episodes
How a Divorce Affects Your Teen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:16
Today, Mark Gregston, Wayne Shepherd and Courtney Lafleur discuss how divorce deeply impacts teens, often creating hidden emotional struggles that parents may not recognize. They explain that teens can develop unhealthy…
Understanding the Pain Beneath the Choices [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:12
Today, Mark Gregston shares how, years into his marriage, his wife Jan revealed deep pain from childhood sexual abuse — pain that eventually led them both into an 18-month counseling journey that changed their relationsh…
Teen Stories: The Ups and Downs of Mental Health [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:57
So many of today’s teens are quietly battling anxiety, depression and the pressures of fitting in — a reality that often goes unseen. In this episode, Mark sits down with two more Heartlight residents who open up about t…
How Perspective Can Change Your Approach [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:43
Join Mark Gregston, Wayne Shepherd and Courtney Lafleur today as they discuss the power of perspective when parenting teens, and why it matters more than simply sharing opinions. Mark explains that teens are surrounded b…
Teen Depression and Its Consequences [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:19
Depression among teens is rising rapidly, with major studies showing increasing rates of persistent sadness, anxiety and even suicide. Today, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd explain that depression doesn’t always have o…
God Is Bigger Than We Think [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:24
Today, Mark Gregston shares a personal story about being unexpectedly fired, leading him into a painful season that left him feeling rejected and questioning God’s presence. Over time, he realized God was still at work,…
Teen Stories: How Honesty Builds Connection [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:49
We all want to be seen, heard and valued — our teens are no different! In today's episode, Mark Gregston sits down with two Heartlight teens whose stories reveal a powerful, common thread: the desperate search for connec…
Does Your Teen Smile Anymore? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:08
Join Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd today as they discuss what it means when your teen no longer smiles — and why parents shouldn’t ignore it. Mark explains that a missing smile is often a sign of deeper sadness, frust…