Performance-Based Relationships

Performance-Based Relationships

Author: Mark Gregston January 28, 2026 Duration: 14:54

Today, Mark Gregston shares a devotional from Psalm 86:15, exploring how children can grow up believing love must be earned through performance. When parents unknowingly reinforce this, kids begin to fear that failure will cost them acceptance, tying their value to behavior and achievement. Mark reminds parents to model God’s compassion, grace, patience and abounding love so children understand love is unconditional. When kids know they are loved in both their successes and failures, they are freed from fear and able to grow with hope and resilience.

If your teen is struggling, Mark's residential counseling center, Heartlight Ministries, may be the answer. Visit heartlightministries.org to learn more!

Parenting Today's Teens is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit parentingtodayteens.org. 


Raising a teenager can feel like navigating uncharted territory every single day. Parenting Today's Teens is here to walk that path with you, offering a steady voice amid the chaos. Mark Gregston brings more than four decades of direct experience working with families to each conversation, translating complex adolescent behaviors into understandable insights. You’ll hear honest discussions about defiance, screen time, emotional withdrawal, and the search for identity, all framed with a perspective that is both pragmatic and hopeful. This isn’t about quick fixes or perfect formulas; it’s about building a lasting, authentic connection with your teen even when it’s difficult. Mark’s approach is grounded in real-world application, offering strategies you can consider and adapt the very same day. The podcast draws from a well of wisdom that respects the spiritual and personal growth of the entire family, recognizing that parenting a teen often means revisiting your own beliefs and reactions. Tune in for a resource that feels like a thoughtful conversation with a trusted guide, one that acknowledges the struggles while consistently pointing toward practical solutions and renewed understanding for the modern parent.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Parenting Today's Teens
Podcast Episodes
Types of Parenting That Will Push Teens Away [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:47
Parents often unintentionally push their teens away by demanding perfection, forcing authority or coming across as judgmental. In this episode, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd explain that while parents still hold autho…
When a Once-Close Relationship Feels Distant [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:06
Today, Mark Gregston shares a personal devotional from Romans 16:17. Listen as he discusses what to do when a once-close relationship with your child becomes distant during the teen years. Mark encourages parents not to…
Teen Stories: Learning to Cope Without Drugs [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:16
What happens when teens turn to drugs to cope with struggles that feel too heavy to bear? Many young people use substances as a way to escape feelings of hurt, isolation or confusion. In today’s episode, Mark Gregston ta…
Dating and Your Teen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:52
Today, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd encourage parents to view teen dating as a training ground, not just something to restrict or fear. Mark emphasizes that healthy, age-appropriate dating — guided by clear expectati…
I Mustache Mark a Question: Bullying, Beliefs and Battling Teen Angst [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:34
Today, Mark tackles real questions from parents who are in the trenches with their teens. From navigating the challenges of adoption with children who have struggled for years, to conversations around sexuality, substanc…
Fostering Respect at Home [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:38
Today, Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd discuss how respect is foundational to a peaceful, healthy home, and it must be intentionally taught and modeled by parents. Mark explains that many teens struggle with respect bec…
Don’t Give Up: Hope Grows Through the Struggle [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:01
Listen today as Mark Gregston reflects on a generation that pursued “peace at all costs” and avoided conflict, often weakening relationships instead of deepening them. Drawing on Galatians 6:9, he reminds parents that tr…
Teen Stories: Searching for Validation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 22:44
For many teens, the drive to fit in or feel worthy can shape almost every decision they make. Beneath the surface, those struggles often trace back to deep questions of value, trust and belonging. Today, Mark sits down w…
Making the Most of One-on-One Time with Your Teen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:25
Join Mark Gregston and Wayne Shepherd today as they discuss the powerful opportunity parents have to shape their teens’ hearts and direction through intentional one-on-one time. Mark reminds parents that the teen years a…