Can You Fake Happiness? w/Beth Cabrera

Can You Fake Happiness? w/Beth Cabrera

Author: Paul Ollinger August 20, 2026 Duration: 44:08

“People do not decide their futures: they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.” – F.M. Alexander

If you want to improve, be kind to yourself. That’s the message from this week’s guest, Dr. Beth Cabrera, a positive psychologist, professor, and author of the new book Being Well: A Positive Path to a Healthier, Happier You. Beth is also an old college friend who's now the first lady of Georgia Tech.

In her new book, Beth argues that willpower and guilt are the wrong tools for lasting change (sorry, Catholic and Jewish moms). Because our brains are wired to survive, not thrive, and default to scanning for threats instead of good things, feeling good is actually the more effective fuel for building habits that stick.

We cover the chicken-and-egg question of whether happiness causes success or success causes happiness, why optimistic salespeople at MetLife outsold others by 88%, how much of optimism is genetic versus learned, the brain's negativity bias and why social rejection registers like a broken arm. (So, please don’t reject me. Please!)

Beth and I talk gratitude, hedonic adaptation, the basics of diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation, what it's actually like being the first lady of a major American university. And how the way to cheat death is to have a Purpose (capitalized intentionally).

Get Beth’s book here. See her website here.

Follow Me (Paul Ollinger) on Instagram here or on X (fka, Twitter) here.

Timestamps

00:00:00 Trailer

00:00:35 Intro

00:01:21 Beth Cabrera and her new book, Being Well

00:04:53 How Beth got hooked on the happiness game at Arizona State

00:07:07 The chicken and egg question: does happiness cause success, or the reverse

00:08:31 Is optimism genetic, and how much of it we can actually change

00:09:56 The brain's negativity bias, and why it kept us alive

00:11:18 Gratitude assessments and noticing the good moments you'd otherwise miss

00:14:06 Why social rejection registers in the brain like a broken arm

00:19:04 Hedonic adaptation and why happiness set points reset

00:21:07 The basics: diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation

00:26:35 Life as the first lady of Georgia Tech, and putting on the game face

00:30:45 Why want to beats have to as a driver of behavior

00:35:03 Finding purpose, big P and little p

00:36:47 A positive attitude about aging can add years to your life

00:38:30 Why beating yourself up doesn't create positive change

00:41:16 The three parts of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, kindness

00:42:35 The caddie metaphor: what would you say to a friend instead?

00:43:46 Where to find Being Well and connect with Beth

00:43:50 Outro



Get full access to Reasonably Happy at words.paulollinger.com/subscribe

Paul Ollinger has worn a few different hats-stand-up comedian, tech executive, and now, the curious host of Reasonably Happy with Paul Ollinger. This isn't a lecture series or a dry self-help guide. Instead, it feels more like pulling up a chair for a series of genuinely engaging talks that wander into the places where our daily lives, careers, and inner worlds collide. The conversations, which feature authors, thinkers, and various creatives, are refreshingly candid. They dig into the practical and philosophical questions about what it actually means to build a life that feels both successful and satisfying. You'll find that each episode of this podcast approaches big themes-money, purpose, and the pursuit of contentment-with a blend of wit and thoughtful depth. The underlying idea isn't about finding a perfect, Instagram-ready version of happiness, but something more grounded and attainable. It's for anyone who's ever wondered if there's a smarter, more meaningful way to navigate the pressures of business and culture without losing sight of what matters. Tuning in, you get the sense that Paul is figuring it out alongside his guests, making the insights feel earned and relatable. The result is a consistently interesting exploration of how we can all aim for a life that feels reasonably, and authentically, well-lived.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Reasonably Happy with Paul Ollinger
Podcast Episodes
How to Get Rich in America [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06:04
✍️ Follow Paul Ollinger on Substack by clicking here ✍️“Capitalism is rigged!” cry the masses. “Nobody gets ahead anymore,” says the mainstream press. And 60% of young people believe that the American Dream is dead. But…
The Fragile Power of Wealth [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:24
If you’ve ever wondered if having everything you’ve ever wanted would make you feel like a complete human being, this episode is for you. My guest today is Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a psychotherapist who works almost exclusive…
Surviving the Loss of a Child [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:01
“How am I ever going to be happy again?” That was the question the wife of this week’s guest asked him after the death of their one-month-old son, Fisher. Michael Cruz Kayne is a comedian, actor and a staff-writer on The…
Millionaires v. Billionaires in NYC [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06:04
Chris Pavone is the bestselling author of some of the smartest and most stylish thrillers of the past decade. His latest book, The Doorman is set in a glamorous Manhattan apartment building where the lives of the ultra-w…
The Beatles, Ted Turner, and Ric Flair with Steve Chamberlain [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:01:25
This week’s podcast is a conversation with my former Atlanta neighbor, Steve Chamberlain, a former media executive whose career has intersected with some of the biggest brands and celebrities in entertainment history. I…
Money, Fame, and Misery: Meet the Beatles [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 58:00
Money, Fame, and Misery: Meet the Beatles (w/ Peter Doggett )In the late ‘60s, The Beatles had it all: worldwide fame, critical admiration, and more money than they ever could have imagined. So why were these four young…
Believe and You Will See! (w/ Nir Eyal ) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 57:46
My guest this week is Nir Eyal, whose two books ('Hooked’ and ‘Indistractable’) have sold over 1 million copies in over 30 languages. This week he published his latest - Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limi…
Gina Gershon on Fame, Desire, and Boobs [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:42
Guess who I got to meet last week - Gina Gershon. That’s right, the incredibly beautiful and talented actress, author, singer, and long-standing disruptor of polite expectations. You know Gina from unforgettable roles in…
The Courage to Be Right w/ Matt Kaplan [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 58:18
Matt Kaplan is a science correspondent at the Economist and author of the new book I Told You So!: Scientists Who Were Ridiculed, Exiled, and Imprisoned for Being Right in which he shares the stories of researchers—from…
Insider Trading w/Tom Hardin [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:13:52
How do you handle it when you screw up badly? (Like really badly.) Former hedge fund trader and Wharton graduate Tom Hardin was convicted of Securities Fraud and Conspiracy to Commit Securities Fraud, which are felonies.…