Can You Fake Happiness? w/Beth Cabrera

Can You Fake Happiness? w/Beth Cabrera

Author: Paul Ollinger August 20, 2026 Duration: 44:08

“People do not decide their futures: they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.” – F.M. Alexander

If you want to improve, be kind to yourself. That’s the message from this week’s guest, Dr. Beth Cabrera, a positive psychologist, professor, and author of the new book Being Well: A Positive Path to a Healthier, Happier You. Beth is also an old college friend who's now the first lady of Georgia Tech.

In her new book, Beth argues that willpower and guilt are the wrong tools for lasting change (sorry, Catholic and Jewish moms). Because our brains are wired to survive, not thrive, and default to scanning for threats instead of good things, feeling good is actually the more effective fuel for building habits that stick.

We cover the chicken-and-egg question of whether happiness causes success or success causes happiness, why optimistic salespeople at MetLife outsold others by 88%, how much of optimism is genetic versus learned, the brain's negativity bias and why social rejection registers like a broken arm. (So, please don’t reject me. Please!)

Beth and I talk gratitude, hedonic adaptation, the basics of diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation, what it's actually like being the first lady of a major American university. And how the way to cheat death is to have a Purpose (capitalized intentionally).

Get Beth’s book here. See her website here.

Follow Me (Paul Ollinger) on Instagram here or on X (fka, Twitter) here.

Timestamps

00:00:00 Trailer

00:00:35 Intro

00:01:21 Beth Cabrera and her new book, Being Well

00:04:53 How Beth got hooked on the happiness game at Arizona State

00:07:07 The chicken and egg question: does happiness cause success, or the reverse

00:08:31 Is optimism genetic, and how much of it we can actually change

00:09:56 The brain's negativity bias, and why it kept us alive

00:11:18 Gratitude assessments and noticing the good moments you'd otherwise miss

00:14:06 Why social rejection registers in the brain like a broken arm

00:19:04 Hedonic adaptation and why happiness set points reset

00:21:07 The basics: diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation

00:26:35 Life as the first lady of Georgia Tech, and putting on the game face

00:30:45 Why want to beats have to as a driver of behavior

00:35:03 Finding purpose, big P and little p

00:36:47 A positive attitude about aging can add years to your life

00:38:30 Why beating yourself up doesn't create positive change

00:41:16 The three parts of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, kindness

00:42:35 The caddie metaphor: what would you say to a friend instead?

00:43:46 Where to find Being Well and connect with Beth

00:43:50 Outro



Get full access to Reasonably Happy at words.paulollinger.com/subscribe

Paul Ollinger has worn a few different hats-stand-up comedian, tech executive, and now, the curious host of Reasonably Happy with Paul Ollinger. This isn't a lecture series or a dry self-help guide. Instead, it feels more like pulling up a chair for a series of genuinely engaging talks that wander into the places where our daily lives, careers, and inner worlds collide. The conversations, which feature authors, thinkers, and various creatives, are refreshingly candid. They dig into the practical and philosophical questions about what it actually means to build a life that feels both successful and satisfying. You'll find that each episode of this podcast approaches big themes-money, purpose, and the pursuit of contentment-with a blend of wit and thoughtful depth. The underlying idea isn't about finding a perfect, Instagram-ready version of happiness, but something more grounded and attainable. It's for anyone who's ever wondered if there's a smarter, more meaningful way to navigate the pressures of business and culture without losing sight of what matters. Tuning in, you get the sense that Paul is figuring it out alongside his guests, making the insights feel earned and relatable. The result is a consistently interesting exploration of how we can all aim for a life that feels reasonably, and authentically, well-lived.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Reasonably Happy with Paul Ollinger
Podcast Episodes
Surviving Middle Age w/ Ben Markovits [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:59
Ben Markovits is the author of several acclaimed novels, including his most recent release The Rest of Our Lives, which explores marriage, infidelity, empty nesting, and mortality. The book, which was short-listed for th…
Marriage, Infidelity, and Millennial Disillusionment with Erin Somers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:46
Erin Somers' new novel, The Ten Year Affair is a story about Millennial disillusionment (and extramarital sex). The New Yorker called it “intoxicating” and W praised the book for its “sometimes mocking examination of you…
A.I. Facts, Fears and Fiction (w/ Bryan Reimer) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:16
AI will have at least as big an effect on society as the invention of electricity. That’s the prediction of MIT’s Bryan Reimer. Bryan is the co-author of the new book ‘How to Make AI Useful’ in which he explores AI’s pow…
From Apartheid to Atlanta w/ Robyn Curnow [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 59:38
My guest is Robyn Curnow, a native South African who spent over two decades at CNN, where she hosted CNN’s Newsroom, and anchored The International Desk with Robyn Curnow. Prior to that, she served as the network’s Afric…
Rewrite Mental Illness w/Laura Delano [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:11:27
Laura Delano is the author of Unshrunk: A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance. Laura was fourteen years old when she saw her first psychiatrist, which was not something openly discussed at the time in her wealthy h…
Find your Essential Intent w/ Greg McKeown [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:25:33
Welcome back to this holiday conversation with ‘Essentialism' author Greg McKeown (see his very impressive resume below). As you set your goals and intentions for 2026, Greg’s insights will be a great way to think throug…
High Net Worth Divorce with Laura Wasser [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:56
People magazine called Laura Wasser “the celebrity of celebrity divorce attorneys,” which makes sense considering she has—according to Wikipedia—handled cases for A+listers like Angelina Jolie, Kim Kardashian, Johnny Dep…
Surviving the College Application Process w/ Jeffrey Selingo [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:16
As the father of two prep school students, I was very eager to meet this week’s guest. Jeffrey Selingo has written about college admissions for more than 25 years and is a New York Times bestselling author of four books,…
Paul’s Insights into NYC, Email, and Estate Planning [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:19
Hello friends. On this week’s episode, I read to you—like a daddy rocking his baby to sleep—the most recent posts from my Substack newsletter, which you can find here. (You can subscribe for free or pay a few bucks, if y…
Confronting Mortality with Thad Reichley [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:04
Imagine being told you have a terminal illness. Would it change the way you approach each day? Two years ago, Thad Reichley went to the doctor because he had the flu. When initial attempts to address his symptoms were un…