Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)

Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)

Author: JLML Press December 23, 2025 Duration: 23:11
A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Drawing from over twenty-five years of hands-on experience, Janet Lansbury brings a grounded, compassionate voice to the often chaotic world of raising children. Her Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled podcast, presented by JLML Press, isn't about quick fixes or following a strict rulebook. Instead, each conversation takes a real question or struggle from a parent and explores it with depth and empathy. What you'll hear is a thoughtful discussion that reframes common challenges-from tantrums to power struggles to sibling rivalry-through the principles of respectful parenting. Janet’s approach consistently moves the focus away from seeking control and toward understanding the child's perspective and fostering a genuine connection. This isn't about memorizing scripts or employing tactics; it's about a fundamental shift in how we see our children and ourselves within the family dynamic. Tuning into this podcast feels like having a wise, calm consultant in your ear, offering clarity and practical insights that empower you to respond with more confidence and less reactivity. The discussions in every episode aim to replace frustration with understanding, providing parents with a sustainable framework that honors both the child's development and the parent's need for a more peaceful home.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Podcast Episodes
End of the Day Crazies With Kids [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:46
Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses.…
Handling Our Kids' Explosive Anger (with Loryn Brantz) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:52
What do we do when our child erupts into a full-blown tantrum—suddenly becoming what author Loryn Brantz calls a "spicy nugget"? The award-winning author and illustrator returns to Unruffled to talk about her new childre…
My Toddler Is Scared of Everything [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:06
A two-and-a-half-year-old has become increasingly anxious and fearful. She often becomes overwhelmed but can't explain what's wrong beyond saying she's scared, and she wants to be picked up or removed from the situation.…
Your Toddler Isn’t Listening. Here’s Why. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:19
How frustrating is it when our kids won't listen! A parent describes her exhausting visit to a relative's house that wasn't baby-proofed. Her 15-month old son became fixated on climbing stairs. She tried to use what she…
The Scary Things Kids Need to Tell Us [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:18
A parent is shaken when her five-year-old begins talking about death and saying she wants to die. Is this a warning sign? Shouldn't she be alarmed? Janet explains why these frightening statements—while they should always…
Painfully Shy in Public, Spirited at Home (What's Up with That?) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:20
A parent describes her 3.5-year-old as fun, loud, and opinionated at home, but "painfully shy in every other social setting," even with relatives and peers she knows well. She's greeted with enthusiasm but won't join in.…
Can We Overcome Our Upbringing? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:43
A mother fears she's repeating the negative patterns that shaped her childhood and wonders if it's already too late to change. She writes that her mother used “guilt trips, the silent treatment, hitting, and what I would…
A Child's Rocky Transition (Why It Means She's Doing Her Job) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:06
A two-year-old's adjustment to a small in-home childcare setting isn't going well. She cries through much of day, flits from activity to activity, and seeks constant validation from the caregiver, repeatedly asking, "Do…
Gentle Parenting is Failing Parents. Here's Why. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:19
What if the parenting approach that's supposed to make family life easier is actually making it harder? Many parents are discovering that what they thought was "gentle parenting" leaves them exhausted, second-guessing th…