Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)

Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)

Author: JLML Press December 23, 2025 Duration: 23:11
A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Drawing from over twenty-five years of hands-on experience, Janet Lansbury brings a grounded, compassionate voice to the often chaotic world of raising children. Her Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled podcast, presented by JLML Press, isn't about quick fixes or following a strict rulebook. Instead, each conversation takes a real question or struggle from a parent and explores it with depth and empathy. What you'll hear is a thoughtful discussion that reframes common challenges-from tantrums to power struggles to sibling rivalry-through the principles of respectful parenting. Janet’s approach consistently moves the focus away from seeking control and toward understanding the child's perspective and fostering a genuine connection. This isn't about memorizing scripts or employing tactics; it's about a fundamental shift in how we see our children and ourselves within the family dynamic. Tuning into this podcast feels like having a wise, calm consultant in your ear, offering clarity and practical insights that empower you to respond with more confidence and less reactivity. The discussions in every episode aim to replace frustration with understanding, providing parents with a sustainable framework that honors both the child's development and the parent's need for a more peaceful home.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Podcast Episodes
How to Boost Your Child's Self-Confidence [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:04
We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through t…
Don't Play Along With Annoying Behavior [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:40
A parent describes her 5.5-year old as the love of her life. Lately, though, her daughter has been dissolving into silly, immature behavior at inappropriate moments, melting down over nonsensical things, and demanding he…
The Kindness of Consequences [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:18
In this episode: Janet receives a follow-up message from the mom she helped last week in the episode "Demanding, Stressed, and Aggressive—What's Happened to My Gentle Child?" The parent candidly shares aspects of Janet's…
Bedtime Battles  ("Losing Myself in Motherhood") [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:25
A parent writes that the bedtime routine with her 5.5 year old daughter has become an all-consuming marathon, and she feels exhausted, frustrated, and disconnected. "I don't enjoy motherhood right now," she says, "and th…
What to Say and Do During a Meltdown [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:22
At the heart of Janet's parenting approach is respectful, honest communication between us and our kids beginning in infancy—which means observing and listening to kids at least as much as we talk to them. It also means w…
Parenting Is Too Hard? Consider Editing Your Job Description [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:03
No matter how we approach raising our children, there are times we'll feel physically, mentally, or emotionally exhausted. Maybe all of the above. We’re only human, of course, but it may also be that we're taking on more…
A Secret to Stop the Hitting and Hurting When All Else Fails [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:26
It's common for young children to go through phases of unwarranted aggression, usually directed at the ones they love most. Janet has noted that these phases are as uncomfortable for our children as it they are for us, a…
Obedience Is Not a Dirty Word [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:35
We all hope to raise polite, well-behaved kids who follow rules and comply with requests, assuming these are fair, just, and appropriate. We want our kids to not only respect us but other authority figures in their lives…