Queering Consent with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (from Lez Hang Out)

Queering Consent with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (from Lez Hang Out)

Author: Danielle Bezalel, MPH: Sex Educator | Pleasure Expert August 29, 2025 Duration: 1:18:42

Have you ever had an experience that you did not consent to but that was enjoyable, transformational, or even pleasurable? This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (@⁠avgolis98⁠), queer psychoanalyst and author of ⁠Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia⁠, to discuss queering consent.

As part of our discussion, Avgi shares stories of times when clients experienced events outside of their consent, including in sexual situations.

Consent is a very nuanced topic, but it tends not to be talked about that way. We do not live in a vacuum and as such consent can be messier than people tend to want to consider. For example, think about our favorite, Teenage Bounty Hunters. When Sterling gathers her courage and kisses April, she doesn't ask for her consent first, and knowing April it probably would not have gone over too well if she had. Even though April may not have consented to this kiss, she finds that she enjoys it. This is a transformational experience for the two of them, and it happens outside of the realm of consent.

As queer people, we have quite a good amount of experience of running opposite to societal norms. We step beyond our comfort zones just to exist in a heteronormative world. As such, we tend to better understand that many transformational experiences rely on our willingness to step beyond safety. Even so, we tend to still prize consent in a way that is more fantasy than reality. It is just not nearly as cut and dry when applied to real life situations.

Follow along on BlueSky, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok @lezhangoutpod and answer our Q & Gay at the end of every episode. Find our hosts individually: Leigh Holmes Foster (@lshfoster) and Ellie Brigida (@elliebrigida).

Want to support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of awesome perks like access to our exclusive Discord community, 25+ bonus episodes, weekly ad free episodes, exclusive merch and more? Join us on Patreon at ⁠bit.ly/lezpatreon⁠.


You have questions about pleasure, intimacy, and your own body that feel too complex or awkward to ask out loud. Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education is the space where those questions are not only welcomed but explored with depth and clarity. Hosted by Danielle Bezalel (DB), a sex educator with a Masters in Public Health, this podcast moves beyond basic biology to address the real, often unspoken, aspects of our sexual lives. Each episode is built on a foundation of credible research and compassionate insight, dismantling the myths and shame that so often accompany these topics. You’ll hear DB in conversation with leading experts, therapists, and researchers, translating their knowledge into practical advice you can actually use. Whether it’s navigating communication with a partner, understanding your own desires more fully, or simply seeking a more confident and joyful connection to your sexuality, this series provides a trustworthy guide. The tone is direct, inclusive, and refreshingly free of judgment, meeting you exactly where you are in your personal journey. Tune in for a re-education that focuses not on what’s wrong, but on what’s possible for a more fulfilling and informed intimate life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education
Podcast Episodes
Abortion Policy Updates You NEED To Know [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:41
DB is here with a critical update on the state of abortion in the U.S.—and it's a mixed bag. From attacks on medication abortion and emergency care to the pardoning of anti-abortion extremists, Trump's agenda is already…
Dirty Dancing with Steph Herold: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:57
In Dirty Dancing, Baby Houseman heads to the Catskills for some good old-fashioned family bonding and accidentally ends up in the arms of a sexy dance instructor—and in the middle of a very real conversation about class,…
Sex Ed with DB is getting CENSORED; help us fight back! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:36
Following this week's conversation with Jackie Rotman on the Center for Intimacy Justice's groundbreaking new report, DB shares her own experience with digital suppression as a sex educator. From flagged posts to shadowb…
Legally Blonde with Brandon Kyle Goodman: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:41
In Legally Blonde, Elle Woods follows her ex to Harvard Law to win him back—only to realize she's way too good for him. But does the movie actually challenge the system, or just find a way to play by its rules? This week…
Can AI Boyfriends Fulfill Secret Fantasies? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:20
In Sleepless in Seattle, Annie falls for a man she's never met, drawn in by the fantasy of who he might be. But what happens when that fantasy isn't just in your head... and it's talking back to you? In this week's bonus…
Sleepless in Seattle with Talia Koren: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:45
In Sleepless in Seattle, a woman hears a stranger's voice on the radio and decides she has to be with him. A few cross-country flights, some light stalking, and one dramatic Empire State Building finale later— a recipe f…
What even is emotional cheating? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:41
In The Wedding Planner, Steve and Mary never technically cross a physical line—but does that mean nothing shady is going on? If you're emotionally invested in someone outside your relationship, is that cheating? This wee…
The Wedding Planner with Liza Treyger: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:58
J.Lo and Matthew McConaughey star in one of the most early 2000s rom-coms of all time, complete with a near-death meet-cute and a love triangle that ignores all workplace ethics. But is The Wedding Planner actually roman…