Queering Consent with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (from Lez Hang Out)

Queering Consent with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (from Lez Hang Out)

Author: Danielle Bezalel, MPH: Sex Educator | Pleasure Expert August 29, 2025 Duration: 1:18:42

Have you ever had an experience that you did not consent to but that was enjoyable, transformational, or even pleasurable? This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with Dr. Avgi Saketopoulou (@⁠avgolis98⁠), queer psychoanalyst and author of ⁠Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia⁠, to discuss queering consent.

As part of our discussion, Avgi shares stories of times when clients experienced events outside of their consent, including in sexual situations.

Consent is a very nuanced topic, but it tends not to be talked about that way. We do not live in a vacuum and as such consent can be messier than people tend to want to consider. For example, think about our favorite, Teenage Bounty Hunters. When Sterling gathers her courage and kisses April, she doesn't ask for her consent first, and knowing April it probably would not have gone over too well if she had. Even though April may not have consented to this kiss, she finds that she enjoys it. This is a transformational experience for the two of them, and it happens outside of the realm of consent.

As queer people, we have quite a good amount of experience of running opposite to societal norms. We step beyond our comfort zones just to exist in a heteronormative world. As such, we tend to better understand that many transformational experiences rely on our willingness to step beyond safety. Even so, we tend to still prize consent in a way that is more fantasy than reality. It is just not nearly as cut and dry when applied to real life situations.

Follow along on BlueSky, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok @lezhangoutpod and answer our Q & Gay at the end of every episode. Find our hosts individually: Leigh Holmes Foster (@lshfoster) and Ellie Brigida (@elliebrigida).

Want to support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of awesome perks like access to our exclusive Discord community, 25+ bonus episodes, weekly ad free episodes, exclusive merch and more? Join us on Patreon at ⁠bit.ly/lezpatreon⁠.


You have questions about pleasure, intimacy, and your own body that feel too complex or awkward to ask out loud. Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education is the space where those questions are not only welcomed but explored with depth and clarity. Hosted by Danielle Bezalel (DB), a sex educator with a Masters in Public Health, this podcast moves beyond basic biology to address the real, often unspoken, aspects of our sexual lives. Each episode is built on a foundation of credible research and compassionate insight, dismantling the myths and shame that so often accompany these topics. You’ll hear DB in conversation with leading experts, therapists, and researchers, translating their knowledge into practical advice you can actually use. Whether it’s navigating communication with a partner, understanding your own desires more fully, or simply seeking a more confident and joyful connection to your sexuality, this series provides a trustworthy guide. The tone is direct, inclusive, and refreshingly free of judgment, meeting you exactly where you are in your personal journey. Tune in for a re-education that focuses not on what’s wrong, but on what’s possible for a more fulfilling and informed intimate life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education
Podcast Episodes
Where did "virginity" come from? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:13
It's a concept we all grew up with, and it's certainly shaped the way Hollywood tells stories about sex, but have you ever stopped to ask where the idea of virginity even came from? In this bonus episode, DB breaks down…
The 40 Year-Old Virgin with Caitlin Durante: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:36
The 40-Year-Old Virgin launched a comedy empire—but does it still hold up, or is it best left in the mid-2000s? From outdated jokes to cringeworthy gender politics, this Judd Apatow classic has a lot to answer for. This…
What is it like dating with a physical disability? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:40
Dating is a minefield for all of us, but it comes with additional challenges for disabled folks. In this bonus episode, DB discusses the biggest challenges and what people should know about dating with a disability, feat…
Good Bad Things with Steve Way and Danny Kurtzman: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:53
This week on Rom-Com Vom, we're switching things up! Instead of cringing our way through a rom-com relic, we're talking about a brand-new release that's changing the game and pushing the genre forward. Good Bad Things pu…
Why isn't adoption the easy alternative to abortion? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:13
Juno frames adoption as the simple alternative to abortion—but is that really the case? In this bonus episode, Dr. Gretchen Sisson returns to answer more of our biggest questions about adoption, including why adoption is…
Juno with Dr. Gretchen Sisson: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:54
Juno is arguably the most well-known depiction of adoption in pop culture... but what messages does it really send about relinquishment, teen pregnancy, and reproductive justice? Is adoption truly the "perfect alternativ…
How do I increase my libido after a dry spell? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:22
So maybe you too need to get your groove back… we've got you. In this bonus episode, we're talking all things libido—where it went, why it left, and how to invite it back to the party. Inspired by this week's Rom-Com Vom…
What are 5 things I should know about sex work? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:30
Ever wondered what "sex work is work" really means? Or why criminalization makes life more dangerous for sex workers? Inspired by this week's episode about Pretty Woman, DB breaks down the most common misconceptions abou…
Pretty Woman with Savannah Hankinson: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:04
There's plenty to love about the 1990s classic Pretty Woman… but just as much to cringe at. Savannah Hankinson, former assistant to rom-com royalty like Nancy Meyers and Rob Marshall, joins DB to unpack the good, the bad…