SWM 116 – Why do I always have to tell my husband how to help?

SWM 116 - Why do I always have to tell my husband how to help? Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

Lately, I've noticed a trend on social media where famous creator couples make videos of the wife telling the husband that visitors are coming over and they need to prepare. In response, the husband goes and starts cleaning out the attic and crawlspace, going through keepsakes, and performing other tasks that do little to achieve the intended goal of getting ready for guests.

Of course, they're doing it as a light-hearted joke, but it points to a common conflict in marriages - women often feel they have to ask for the same help repeatedly. Even in the non-hyperbole versions of these videos, the husband typically mows the lawn, cleans the driveway, and fixes issues in the front of the house, such as rewiring a light. In contrast, the wife worries about cleaning the house's interior and preparing food. Invariably, the wife gets upset that he's not helping with what she sees as important tasks.

And in media, be it TV, movies, or social media, they all generally side with the wife.  The joking videos mentioned above always point and laugh at the men. Why is this?  Is it just that men are inept?  Are they blind?  Inconsiderate?

So, here are my ideas of why this happens - which you are welcome to disagree with in the comments.

Interested in our Intimacy Advent Calendar? Check it out here.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.